Posted by starfox on June 2, 2007, at 4:08:53
This is a long story(sorry). About 2 months ago my girlfriend and I split up over an argument, I said some horrible things and told her I wanted to end the relationship. We had not been getting on for a couple of months but always seemed to work things out. We had been together for nearly 5 years and had been living together for about 4 and a half years. I have been struggling with depression for about 4 years mainly involving sleep problems. She always understood and cared for me so much, she would even come to the doctor with me and ring me every day from work just to make sure I was ok. I tried my hardest to tell her that I never meant what i said and that i love her more than life but she has made up her mind. We are still good friends and agreed to see each other as often as possible because she says she still cares for me and is worried about me. But i keep ringing her up crying and begging her to come back to me but it makes her cry and its driving her further away from me. She says that I need to get better and have to sort out my angry temper that I have because it scares her. I would like to point out that I have not or never would attack her but I do smash up doors around the flat in anger. I want her to come back to me and I do want to change, but right now I feel like a broken man. It feels like my life has lost its meaning and my heart is shattered in to tiny pieces. The depression has got twice as bad and is tearing me apart. All I do is think about her every second of everyday wondering where it all went so wrong. I want to end my life but Im scared of dying and I cant imagine what it would do to my family but I just cant stop the pain and hurt that seems to be crippling me. Also i cannot eat a thing and constantly feel sick, I think I am having a mental breakdown and I need help. Can any kind soul advise me what I need to do because I dont think Im strong enough to pull myself out of this cold, dark hole that I feel im stuck in right now.
Laurence, 29, male, UK
poster:starfox
thread:760859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070524/msgs/760859.html