Posted by F00TBALL on May 26, 2007, at 1:25:22
I was up to 75 MG Nardil and feeling great. It had completely wiped out my depression and helped significantly with my social anxiety. I had started CBT and feeling optimistic that that would further help my anxiety. I also had had my first appointment with a new p-doc and was left with a positive first impression of him.
I actually thought I was on the verge of beating all of this... LOL!May 17th, I woke and took my Nardil and Klonopin like normal. I noticed I was out of my Provigil. "Not a big deal. I'll go refill my prescription later today," I thought to myself. I took a shower and started getting dressed. I reached into my sock drawer to take out a pair of socks and felt a large oval-shaped pill. I pulled it out. I didn't have my contacts in yet, so I couldn't see it that clearly but it looked like a Provigil, so without a second thought I popped it my mouth. Worst mistake of my life.
An hour later I was at a job interview at my favorite music store. I really wanted the job and thanks to Nardil, my anxiety was minimal and I thought the interview was going really well!
Then, completely out of the blue, mid-interview, my vision got very strange. Everything was kind of out of focus, as if I was squinting or something. Then I noticed my arms were trembling. I started to have trouble understanding the questions I was being asked as well as following my own trail of thought. "Where am I?" I thought to myself. I remember nothing else about the interview.
Hours later I woke up. Feeling groggy I looked around and noticed I was in a hospital room. Several cords were attached to me and some machine sat next to me. I tried to sit up. "Mike, don't get up," said the nurse. I lay back down and rubbed my face. I noticed there was some tube going down my nostril. I fell back asleep.
I woke up again in the morning. The tube in my nose was gone, but there were still several cords connected to me. My parents and a nurse were in the room. "He's awake," my Dad said.
I learned that I had fallen out of my chair at the record store, and was completely unresponsive, so an ambulance was called. At the hospital I began seizuring so bad, that it took 5 nurses to lie on top of me to keep me still enough in the MRI machine. My blood pressure was sky high, so I was given some sort of medication. I was also having trouble breathing and was hooked up to a ventilator via my nose, because my mouth was clenched so tight, that that was the only option was to shove the tube down my nostril.
I had just survived a horrible case of Serotonin syndrome. "How? I didn't eat anything I wasn't supposed to. I was really careful with the diet!" "We found Zoloft in your blood," the nurse said.
Then it hit me. That oval-shaped pill I found in my sock drawer wasn't a provigil. It was an old Zoloft from several months ago that had accidentally never gotten tossed.
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I left the hospital later that day. I had to quit Nardil cold turkey in case some Zoloft was still in my body.
I immediately became extremely depressed and all my anxiety returned. And I had to deal with terrible withdrawal symptoms that caused me to feel nauseous and vomit several times a day, have terrible nightmares every night, and have those God-awful brain zaps, every second of every day.A week later, May 24th, I had my next p-doc appointment and was very anxious to get back on Nardil. I wondered to myself if I would be able to go right back to 75 MG, or If I would have to start at a low dose and slowly build up all over again, as I sat down on the couch in his office.
"Mike, that was scary. I'm glad you're OK."
"Thanks"
"Terrible drugs those MAOIs are. Don't know why the FDA hasn't banned them."
"Um... actually Nardil worked great for me. I just made a stupid mistake. But it's the type of mistake I absolutely won't make again."
"Absolutely not. Paxil is a much better option for you. It's much newer and it's actually approved for social anxiety. It will work better then Nardil."
"I've allready been on 3 SSRIs. They don't work for me."
"Have you tried Paxil?"
"No."
"That's what you're going on next."
"No. I want to go back on the only drug that's ever helped me."
"Paxil is better. It's much safer. I've never prescribed an MAOI in my life. They're old and dangerous. They almost killed you."
"Actually it was Zoloft that almost killed me."
"I will not prescribe you an MAOI. Is that clear?"
"You won't prescribe me anything then." I get up and leave, mid-appointment.Monday, with the help of my family, we're gonna try to find a p-doc who will prescribe Nardil.
So that's where I am right now. No p-doc, no Nardil, major depression and major anxiety. And still the occasional brain zap.
This may be the lowest point in my life.
:(
poster:F00TBALL
thread:759593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070524/msgs/759593.html