Posted by Ines on March 28, 2007, at 11:15:15
Hello everyone,
Just posting to unburden myself, I feel like I need to talk to someone... I'm going through a pretty bad patch depression wise, it seems to keep getting worse day by day. I've had depression issues for so long, but I kept thinking I could solve it by changing something in my environment... Just recently I realised this wasn't going to go away. And I completely crumbled. It's like suddenly all the hope that I could yet be normal went, and now I'm left with a hollow fear that this is what my life is going to be. I'm taking an AD but it's not working- I'm getting worse day by day and my GP says he doesn't want to change my meds before I see a specialist. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist but that's not until a month from now. I'm finding it pretty unbearable right now, my depression is so bad. It won't ease up whatever I do- I feel I can't escape from myself and it's driving me insane, I actually wish I broke a leg or something to take the focus off the mental pain. To top it all off I feel really embarrassed, like it's my fault for not coping. I know it's stupid but there you go. My anxiety's reached a record high, I'm so terrified that I won't ever find a way out- I mean a proper way out that will allow me to have a life that's worth living, not just something that will numb my pain. I'm terrified that my life is going to be a permanent swing between unhappniess and downright torturous mental pain, with nothing inbetween.
Anyway, I'll shut up. Pretty grim reading I imagine.... Thanks for listening,
Ines
poster:Ines
thread:744940
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070327/msgs/744940.html