Posted by stargazer on March 1, 2007, at 0:19:46
In reply to Re: Am I The Only Messed Up Person Here Hiding In » nolegirl23, posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2007, at 22:19:28
Phillipa, don't you think for a minute that you're the only messed up person here...we're all messed up, some more than others, and not all of us share everything we are going through. For myself, I 'listen' more than I express my feelings and emotions. You may not know how I'm really doing on a day to day basis as we all communicate in our own way.
There are some here that are more messed up than you, some less, but we all a common feeling of missing out on life and want to feel better. You forget I have had depression for 30 years, so despite not having the same symptoms as you, I have had my share of misery too. It sucks but it is what is...I have come close to giving up many times. When someone says they don't think I have depression, because I have told them I was able to drive to the store alone or paint a room, it tells me how little they know about depression.
My moods can vary from one day to the next, but that can be a positive thing, which should be supported without concluding that person is no longer depressed or may now be manic. My depression is real, I should know...I have it, nobody else can tell me I don't, except my doctor and I await that day with bated breath.
I am now realizing, the stress of working has precipitated my depression each time it relapses to a dangerous level. At home I'm fine, but if I have to be in a position of responsibility, I'm going to always risk relapse. Until a drug can put it into remission again, my so called 'normal' life is gone forever. I was fooling myself into thinking I was well enough to work in the past and I kept trying, but I now realize the pattern is consistent. If I work, I relapse again and again, each time with worse results.
Sorry, I digress into my own situation, but the bottom line is we all come here for support, understanding and acceptance, not for someone else to say others are better off or worse off than myself. I guess it is natural for us to compare ourselves with others but it is usually maladaptive to do so.
Yes, we are definately messed up. We are here.
poster:stargazer
thread:736788
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070224/msgs/737249.html