Posted by Quintal on February 4, 2007, at 7:55:53
In reply to Benzodiazepine side-effects, efficacy?, posted by psychobot5000 on February 4, 2007, at 0:13:25
It's complicated. I have mixed feelings about benzos. My GP first prescribed a benzo (Ativan) at my request when I was 19 for 'social anxiety' when I went back to college. I'd tried antidepressants and they didn't seem to help much with anxiety. The Ativan was a miracle drug - I felt like I'd been let out of some imaginary prison I'd been trapped in for years by my shyness. I did function much better at that time than I'd ever done in my life.
After a few months I started switching between different benzos and taking several at the same time for a while; diazepam, lorazepam and even a private prescription for Xanax. I also began taking sleeping pills zopiclone, zolpidem and temazepam because the benzos alone no longer put me to sleep at night. This was all within the first six months of using benzos. In early 2002 I managed to get a locum GP to prescribe clonazepam (Klonopin/Rivotril) even though it has no licence for anxiety here in the UK.
I soon began abusing the Rivotril and forged a prescription to get more and was caught. The GP still prescribed my benzos though and I started indulging in more criminal behaviour - brazenly walking out of a cheap store with a pasta serving bowl set right past the security guard standing next to one of those scanner alarms. The alarm didn't go off fortunately and I still have the bowl set - couldn't think of a way to returning it without incriminating myself. I was finally caught stealing a camera film from Boots - there was a long queue at the checkout and I didn't want to miss the bus. It seemed alright to me at that time to just walk off and pocket the film.
My pdoc terminated my supply of benzos in 2004 so I began buying them online until my credit cards bounced last year and I was forced to quit cold turkey (I've quit cold turkey many times for various reasons). At the height of my benzo abuse I was taking 20mg Klonopin a day with other drugs.
The benzos certainly do affect your thinking but usually you're not aware of how much you're impaired unlike with other cognitive blunting drugs such as the TCAs. I managed to get through college studying some demanding subjects while taking benzos. Though I'm sure I could have got better grades without them, would I have ever gone back to college in the first place without benzos to make me feel more comfortable?
My behaviour seems to have been much more aggressive and retarded when I was taking benzos - I cringe at most of the things I've said and done in those years. My conscience has also returned and I no longer go around stealing and forging, or any other antisocial behaviour.
In summary I'd say my benzo years were like being curled up in a warm bed, safe and cosy, taking an occasional peek at reality out from the duvet whenever I felt a bit stale, but getting back in again sharpish when things got too chilly. After a while I became mentally weak and lazy from depending on drugs like that. I've had to re-learn how to cope with stress since quitting benzos, which I'm still working on.
Most people don't seem to have the problems I've had with benzos, but it can happen to the unwary. But I was aware of all the potential problems benzos could cause when I first took them - I'd read Heather Ashton's website in 2001 and laughed at the stories of people walking out of shops with televisions thinking they were invisible - I would surely never do that myself!
Q
poster:Quintal
thread:729521
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070201/msgs/729575.html