Posted by maryhelen on December 9, 2006, at 21:27:28
In reply to Re: What is TD?? » maryhelen, posted by yxibow on December 6, 2006, at 0:29:44
Hi Jay:
Thank you for your response to my question about TD. Your information is beyond incredible. It is so impressive. Unfortunately, I have to admit that some of it is still hard for me to understand. I have been in psychiatric care for 25 years, and I could not begin to tell you about all the medications I have tried, 3 rounds of shock therapy, four or five treatment centres. So much talk therapy, I cannot stand hearing myself speak anymore. The past is the past, at least for me. Yet, here I sit at 54 years old, disabled still by my depression, hopeless. scared. The only thing I have found that helps to lift my mood is opiates, which are not easy to obtain. Sometimes I do not think I can make it. If it wasn't for my daughter and 4 grandchildren I honestly think I would be gone. I am not proud of this. My life has become useless and pointless. My brain does not work properly. I held a high stress job or 30 years, where you really had to be sharp, think on your feet. I would be incabable to do this now. I even have trouble brushing my teeth. Not being able to work for the last 6 years has been devasating. I used to think that was the worst thing that could happen. Now, it is my inabililty not to be able to see my family.
By the way you described the meds that I told you that I am on now, certainly seem to be indicated for sedation to be able to sleep. Of course this is of major importance. However, they are not helping with the depression and I do not see the doctor who prescribed them at the hospital. I need the depression to be, if not gone, than to get some relief from it. My goodness, this is such a devastating illness.
When I was hosptialized earlier this year, I came to know some of the other patients. What I found disturbing was the way Seroquel was prescribed. It did not seem to matter what diagnosis one had, Seroquel was the first line medication prescribed to almost everyone.... for instance I have depression, either seriously depressed, suicially depressed, depressed, never happy and it is getting worse, I do not have psychosis (don't really know what it is, I do not hear voices, yes I can obesses, and I do take percs for my pain if I can get them, .... although I have unrelenting pain and the opiates help, it is the lift in my mood that drives me to try and get them. At the hopital, I was put on 100 mg. of Seroquel. Another young women, mid twenties presented with bipolar, cocaine addiction, of course the ups and down to suicidal depression. She was on 825 mg. of seroquel. I had never heard anyone on such a high dose. Others hearing voices, talking to the voices inside their head, catotonic patients, eating disordered patients, paranoid, dilusional,etc... all on Sereqouel. How can this be? I understand that it is an antipsycotic med. I really do not know what being antipsychotic means, and except being on it for sleep, it kinda freaks me out. One pill fits all patients ... After all of my years of med trials it seems to me that I should know what TD means, but I didn't. I am so confused about medications I don't know if I am coming or going half the time. During my hospitalization this year (about my 8th time as well as 4 treatment centres) ended up having 13 ECT treatments (third rounds, ineffective). I still do not sleep well. I am so tired after 25 years of battling this depression. I use to research every med I was ever on ..... I cannot even remember all of them. Now I feel so hopeless as to ever being helped I don't even have the energy to be proactive in my care. I also have a problem with pain medications .... have a lot of physical disabilities. Percocett, for example, or other types of opiates, is the only relief I get from the pain and the depression. Of course I have to take too much to be effective and they are not easily available. My psych is working on me going on buprenorphine and a higher than normal dose of an antidepressant. My system metabolizes drugs at an alarming rate. He seems to indicate Effexor something like 600 mg. I am just waiting, as the bupe has not been available in Canada and special permission has been required for approval from the government. However, I understand now that bupe was made available in November here. I read other sites, and there is an indication for bupe being used for refractory depression. My doc told me that it is just indicated for pain management and to stop taking the other opiates. I just do not know anymore. The depression is devastating and I do know if I can continue much longer living such a useless and pointless life. Sorry to go off topic. Just got carried away. I don't even know why I continue to take these meds as they are obviously not working or I would not be so depressed. I guess I will just keep taking them until my psych doc makes a decision on the new meds. I have told thim the best way I know how I am feeling without him having to hospitalize me.
Now that I have the information from you about TD, the only time I could say that I notice it is when I am falling asleep. Sometimes I jerk so bad I think I am two feet off the bed. For any other movement disorder, I live alone so there would be no one around me to notice anything.
Thank you again Jay, I hope I wasn't too much off track trying to understand.
maryhelen
poster:maryhelen
thread:703921
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061206/msgs/712018.html