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Re: It's Treatable. No, it's not. » Reggie BoStar

Posted by SLS on November 22, 2006, at 7:39:34

In reply to It's Treatable. No, it's not., posted by Reggie BoStar on November 22, 2006, at 4:07:20

> at times I seem to get a glimmer of hope from an AD medication or therapy, only to be shut down when it stops working.

This is a demonstration that the hardware is capable of functioning. It just needs to be re-regulated and encouraged to make new connections. In other words, for you, something can work.

> Why do we bother with all this?

I guess it is because we have no better choice.

> So what's the point? A life of one crisis after another until I die.

<Sigh>

I know. There are no guarantees that anything will change in our lifetimes.

> What am I being kept alive for?

This is where the work comes in - lots of it. What I seek from counseling are ways to experience life to the fullest within the limits imposed by my illness. This requires acceptance - at least in for the short-term. I still maintain the ambition to attain wellness. However, I no longer look at this as being imminent. Antidepressant drugs with novel mechanisms of action are still years away. I may or may not respond to rTMS or VNS. In the meantime, it is a conscious decision of mine to learn new ways to live life with an old darkness, hoping that I might find light that still exists or create some of my own.

> I do nothing but get treatment and exist.

Me too. Again, though, I am making it the focus of counseling to learn to live a life within the confines of a biological depression. To do this, it is important to know the nature of your individual depression and how it impacts you on a moment by moment basis as well as in the long-term. It is important to know your enemy. Not only am I learning coping tools through strategies like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), but I am hoping to learn ways of finding enjoyment, purpose, and reward in the life my depression will allow me. In other words, I will try to use all of what little God has given me to work with.

> After 40 some-odd years of this, I've finally realized that this is it for the rest of my life.

Like I said, there are no guarantees. There is no guarantee that you will ever get well. However, there is no guarantee that you won't.

> Apparently my blessing is cowardice, so I'm too afraid to stop wasting time.

Whatever it takes.


- Scott

 

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poster:SLS thread:706067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061117/msgs/706101.html