Posted by SLS on November 22, 2006, at 7:39:34
In reply to It's Treatable. No, it's not., posted by Reggie BoStar on November 22, 2006, at 4:07:20
> at times I seem to get a glimmer of hope from an AD medication or therapy, only to be shut down when it stops working.
This is a demonstration that the hardware is capable of functioning. It just needs to be re-regulated and encouraged to make new connections. In other words, for you, something can work.
> Why do we bother with all this?
I guess it is because we have no better choice.
> So what's the point? A life of one crisis after another until I die.
<Sigh>
I know. There are no guarantees that anything will change in our lifetimes.
> What am I being kept alive for?
This is where the work comes in - lots of it. What I seek from counseling are ways to experience life to the fullest within the limits imposed by my illness. This requires acceptance - at least in for the short-term. I still maintain the ambition to attain wellness. However, I no longer look at this as being imminent. Antidepressant drugs with novel mechanisms of action are still years away. I may or may not respond to rTMS or VNS. In the meantime, it is a conscious decision of mine to learn new ways to live life with an old darkness, hoping that I might find light that still exists or create some of my own.
> I do nothing but get treatment and exist.
Me too. Again, though, I am making it the focus of counseling to learn to live a life within the confines of a biological depression. To do this, it is important to know the nature of your individual depression and how it impacts you on a moment by moment basis as well as in the long-term. It is important to know your enemy. Not only am I learning coping tools through strategies like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), but I am hoping to learn ways of finding enjoyment, purpose, and reward in the life my depression will allow me. In other words, I will try to use all of what little God has given me to work with.
> After 40 some-odd years of this, I've finally realized that this is it for the rest of my life.
Like I said, there are no guarantees. There is no guarantee that you will ever get well. However, there is no guarantee that you won't.
> Apparently my blessing is cowardice, so I'm too afraid to stop wasting time.
Whatever it takes.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:706067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061117/msgs/706101.html