Posted by jealibeanz on November 15, 2006, at 17:54:19
In reply to aannd talked..., posted by jealibeanz on November 15, 2006, at 17:03:55
She suggested I just try to push through the next month, and try new meds during break. I told her I could tell I was at the point where I wasn’t going to be capable of doing that. So, I explained that I knew I was definitely underachieving, and at this point in great danger, since once the concentration diminishes, it tends to snowball. Surprisingly, she seemed to understand that.
She asked if there was a doc I could see or if I needed a recommendation from her/school. I told her that I love and trust my family doc, even though I know he’s not great. I’d been to others, even a pdoc, when felt too emotionally close with the entire staff, but these all resulted in great failures. I returned to my old doc and am so happy I did. He’s incredibly kind, interesting in me personally and my well-being, knows my family, trusts me, my judgment, input, description of symptoms, and does whatever he can to help. We now have a wonderful relationship.
I thought she’d tell me that getting a specialist is best, but she didn’t. She said that the trust, openness, and good relationship were most important. Great, a healthcare professional who understands supportive emotional patient care heavily outweighs a cold, incredibly knowledgeable doc.
I’ve so happy and relieved I did this. I kept reiterating that it’s so hard to admit and easy to deny because I know my intelligence, and that’s why it went undetected so long. She truly understood and agreed. I told her I would have gotten help earlier, but didn’t realize there was a problem until it was out of control. She offered enormous support and told me to keep in touch with her and ask for any help I need.
If nothing else, I think she may have gained I newfound respect for me because of my extreme awareness of the difficulties and nuances of being a patient, which cannot be taught in school. I normally just act like a goofy dumb kid like the rest of my friends, but this shows a great depth of understanding, wisdom, and maturity. She now knows there’s something more profound under the quirky, weird (but all of this pointed out in a nice way… I’m unusual. I know it, but not bad unusual. Thinking in a different realm unusual), 16 yr old looking student.
Haha, I’m 23. But the deep understanding and human emotions, well beyond me years, is now obvious. I still do need to grow up, but underneath the kid, there’s already huuuge potential to be a wonderful practitioner, something that many, no matter what age or experience level, cannot achieve. I now have someone to fight for me, even when other don’t recognize, I’m worth keeping. I’m also very humble, gracious, and respectful She’s probably never heard someone say thank you, repeatedly, for the most minor things.
So, I’m not giving up yet. I may not pass my courses. The meds may not help, but I’m fighting for now. It’s all I can do.
poster:jealibeanz
thread:700765
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061110/msgs/704006.html