Posted by Lost Soul on November 14, 2006, at 19:10:25
Hello. I am reaching out today. I have so much stuff going on inside of me that I can't seem to let it out. There is a lot of bad stuff that happened to me as a child and for some reason it is bothering me now. You would think that by this point in my life (I am now 29), my childhood issues would be far behind me but they aren't. Infact, they seem to be bothering me far worse now than they have in the past. It is like it is all coming back and I am feeling very angry and helpless and very hurt from them. This Thanksgiving, I will be spending alone with just me and my girls. I am so angry that I refuse to even speak to my mother or my father. This will upset them and in the past I have always said what I was supposed to so as not to upset them, but now - I want to upset them. I want them to know that I am angry at them. I want them to hurt the way that I do, but I don't believe that they will ever even care. I am feeling very isolated and very uninterested in socializing with anyone. I just need to talk, to get everything thats on the inside out. I need to talk to someone who does not know me and won't judge me or look down on me. I need to talk to someone who has had issues like these before and who will understand. I want to tell what happened but I am afraid to tell anyone that I know. I want to say everything that is inside of me. It would almost be a relief just to get it out and yet I am so afraid to put it to words. I am thinking about just typing it all into a post like this one and then just seeing what everyone has to say about it. Yet the idea of being critized for it is very scary. I just want this pain to go away. I want it to stop. I don't know how to make it stop. I'm hurt, I'm angry, and I need someone to talk to. If anyone is interested in talking, in hearing and not judging, please respond.
poster:Lost Soul
thread:703486
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061110/msgs/703486.html