Posted by blueberry on November 13, 2006, at 20:47:06
I feel my normal self coming back. A week ago I had to use mapquest.com to drive places I had been to 400 times. I had to keep my computer password in my wallet because I couldn't remember it each time I sat down. On and on like that with everything in daily life. The memory loss was like a scary version of a Twilight Zone movie.
It is clear to me now what happened...the 2 weeks following the last treatment started out as remission, but then spiked rather dramatically into a fullblown mania, the bad kind of mania, and was followed by a suicidal crash in the deepest depression I've ever known. Then I quickly rebounded back to just plain depression (bad enough). I'm surprised now that the yo-yo has settled down I'm still depressed. Damn. If I could just do one ECT a week I bet I would be golden.
But they have to somehow get that memory loss thing in control. If what happened to me had happened to a doctor or a lawyer, they would no longer be able to practice.
I hoping that with more time as things settle down the benefits of ECT will take effect. But I am thinking that through this whole thing I discovered I am bipolar, and the swings are going to mess up the whole picture to where only maintenance ECT will work...no stopping...once a week or something like that. Doesn't look likely. Too bad. ECT really did work wonderful as long as I was doing it.
poster:blueberry
thread:703261
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061110/msgs/703261.html