Posted by blueberry on November 12, 2006, at 10:23:03
I had a major crash yesterday that landed me in the emergency room after police in my house and an ambulance ride following a 911 call.
Post ECT relapse is worse than anything.
Looking back, I would say the 2 weeks following the last ECT treatment could be characterized as a mixed state...a blend of remission and a talkative type mania, with slight sprinklings of very short minor light depressions at random times. It was mostly the talkative remission/mania stuff mix.
Then on Friday afternoon I got hit with a totally unexpected fairly deep depression which felt real bad and scared me. It lifted almost completely by evening and was replaced with a hyper overly talkative state.
Saturday I woke very depressed and its intensitiy came on like a freight train. It ended up being the worst I've ever experienced. I was in a state of suicide, no-escape, total despair, hysterical crying, and thoughts of taking a long swim in the freezing ocean.
Clearly it seems to me there is more here than just a relapse. The evidence is all over the place that I am dealing with bipolar. That would explain why so many dozens of meds have not been good for me. The very first psychiatrist I ever had spent 9 hours diagnosing me and when finally done he wanted lithium. I refused his diagnosis of bipolar and lithium, and went elsewhere to be treated as unipolar. Perhaps the biggest mistake of my life? Could be.
poster:blueberry
thread:702793
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061110/msgs/702793.html