Posted by tizza on October 10, 2006, at 3:23:32
Well I won't lie, it's been a rollercoaster ride of a year BUT, I'm one year AD free, WOO HOO. I still have my good days and bad days but nothing like before, I have learnt coping stratergies to get me through the hard times and it's been tough, but at the end of the day, I'm just thrilled that I have made it 1 year AD free.
I still take valium for stress and nitrazepam(mogadon) for sleep, yes I know, they are both benzo's, but I have found that if I let my anxiety, and or sleep depraviation get out of control, I spiral down hill into depression, self loathing, guilt and racing suicidal thoughts very, very quickly. I'm only taking about 5mg of valium every second day and 5mg of mogadon about twice a week at the moment.
I wouldn't say that I'm perfect or fixed!!! It's far from the truth, but I'm coping, and in my eyes that's all that matters. I still get major glitches in the matrix and the worst one was the most recent.
I don't rule out the fact that I might have to go back on AD's again one day, but I'll fight to the end to stay off them for as long as I can. Most AD's, AP's and mood stablisers have generally made me worse in the past, which was a bummer for me but I now know that they do help thousands of people everyday around the world. Oh my god I sound like an ad but I'm not, they made me BEYOND miserable.
I just wanted to share that, I hope that everyone is doing ok, stay safe and take care!! I hope you are all doing well. Good luck everyone!!
poster:tizza
thread:693471
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061003/msgs/693471.html