Posted by tessellated on September 1, 2006, at 19:49:15
Hi All,
I've been happy with parnate for over seven months without poop out, though I have been periodically taking breaks up to a week or so. My doses average about 100mg/day. In regard to the insomnia I often just stay awake 36hr and sleep 6-12. With this method I can rest deeply w/out any sedative. In fact the sedatives (xanax etc) left me awaking confused and disoriented, so I've found integrating parnate monotherapy into a 36/8 to be the most effective use of the drug if you can handle it. Its lead to a gazzillion hours of speed reading wikipedia and researching for a project at night and operating powertools by day. I personally find parnate to enhance cognition and visualization as well as stress reduction, a radical help (i think) with heartbreak, interpersonal commnunication etc. My first pdoc's mentor used it similarly and dubbed it a "smart drug" along with modafinil.
However I've been having a rather unerving time partially related to these parnate holidays; though as a footnote (i've also had the worst heartbreak in my life, was experiencing horrific jealousy, and was robbed) So these exogenous factors must be taken into consideration, though its hard to say exactly how.
When stopping parnate without a taper, (not recommened, but due to refils, etc) i've noticed three things typically happen. One, a few days of apathy/lethargy (not so bad) and can be counteracted. Depression, crying, and blaming it on heartbreak. Three, the most disconcerting though are various forms of hallucinatory states most typically auditory. Some time back I noticed for example classical music emanating from everything. However I knew it was a side effect and twas no bid deal-fascinating as much as anything. Upon restarting parnate in minutes the auditory hallucinations would cease. (of course sleep deprivation confuses things even more)
I, i live in a quiet canyon, (in LA), and often at night (which I stay awake through) the loudest noise are crickets. I live in a bowl of sorts and can pick up traces of audio conversation all over the hill. This is due to the layout of my house, and as well the hypersensitization of my hearing.
But during the breakup, i realized that I was having outright auditory hallucinations. It was a brutal breakup, and I can often hear my X doing this or that, including talking on the phone, and having sex. However at one point i saw that I realized I was having outright auditory hallucinations at sub auditory levels. From mumbling conversations I could pick out words, and at times even full coversations. As well, when my B--th of an X intentionally messed with me by having sex midday, while I had company we could hear it inside my lvingroom due to our homes layouts. Later jealousy took me to a point I had my second paranoic break where I thought people were trying to kill/rob me. Again this is complicated because I had in fact gotten into a physical fight with some idiots who stole a bunch of tools from my garage. This motivated me to tune in to the sounds of the night rationally becoming the evening watchman. I was in reality robbed, and had understandable residual paranoia.
What became a problem is that at times while tuning into low amplitude sounds, conversations more quiet than crickets, I finally worked out that I was having outright auditory hallucinations about my X trying to force me to move out through illicit means etc....
What's scarry about this, is that it can happen quite easily if I don't keep the med constant. Two days w/out parnate I cannot trust my auditory low level perceptions. Because of the amphitheatre like canyon there are actual remarkable sound qualities. My kitchen corner picks up my neighbors deck etc. But at times I knew I was producing horrific conversations not there.
I know frank psychosis can be a side effect of parnate withdrawl. And I had this once before, again of a paranoic amphetamine like quality. But the subtle quality with which the audiory hallucinations is what is problematic, it is what is frightening. because there can be almost no other significant symptoms, except for highly loaded "overhearing of conversations from neighbors". Now I'm lost my credibility because i cannot trust low level audio perception at all if i've missed doses.
Part of this is living in an extrmely quiet bowl, like sitting on the side of an amphitheatre, but the auditory hallucinations are so subtle, and the circumstances so loaded, that I'm thinking of dropping parnate as a result even though i get otherwise good results. I'm not afraid of hallucinations, but not being able to know wether I'm hearing a television show, actual domestic abuse, or if its merely an hallucination is becoming a real problem. I've lost my own and others peoples confidence, and I cant always tell if its due to my highly sensitived hearing or if its of a hallucinatory nature. These are not voices in my head, but often common conversations, thoug the ones from the X girlfriend are heavily emotionally loaded, both in reality and as hallucinations.
Have anyone had similar sublte psychotic symptoms and any suggestions? Often the subtlety of the audio source is low enough my only non directional microphone cannot prove anything.
Has anyone had similar experiences? Though parnate is a great med, these issues are becoming problematic enough to perhapss discontinue it. Has any experienced something similar?
Thanks
8ed.The sublty is the most frightening, the way they creep in.
I've never had psychotic symptoms except in amphetamine/parnate w/draws and they were often PROFOUNDLY OUTSIDE OF REALITY, never so subtle.
poster:tessellated
thread:682135
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060901/msgs/682135.html