Posted by jealibeanz on August 26, 2006, at 7:05:57
In reply to OK, I'm over my self-imposed leave... update, posted by jealibeanz on August 17, 2006, at 14:22:21
I've decided I NEED to make another appointment with my doctor.
I will tell him that my Lunesta actually is helping increase my total hours sleeping at night, but am nooowhere near 7-8 hours that one needs. I never sleep more than 2 hours continuously. I'm going to demand I find a better solution myself. Ideally, I wouldn't be dependent on meds, but apparently this world we live in isn't ideal!!!
I need to address the depression as a major complaint, not just a tiny side note. My current symptoms aren't just sadness and crying. They also involve hypersomnia and huge lack of energy and motivation.
I need to tell him that I'm worried because this has happened to me before, my 1st year at college. (I had no doctor then, so he doesn't know about this.) I basically slept non-stop, all day, every day. I never felt well, was always terrible groggy/tired, and couldn't concentrate because I was always nodding off in class, thinking about how I need to take nap #3.
He knows this will be a major problem in terms of my schooling this year. I can't get through 2 hard semester like this, and shouldn't have to try, physically or emotionally. It's not normal or healthy. I can't just settle for "just getting by" in life. I want quality.
So, he's already fully aware of my distaste for the serotonergenic meds. I need to present ideas...
I really want to bring up EMSAM. Why? Because I believe it could be a great help to me. Also, if I don't I'll just regret it for months and months and months. I can tell him I found information in my texts and then looked up the prescribing info online.
This is going to be a big risk asking a GP to prescribe it for me, I feel. If he's a little uncomfortable and suggests seeing a psychiatrist (which I doubt will happen, they don't refer out for much at that office, surprisingly), I'll explain why I'm against it. I'll explain my former terrible run ins with psychiatrists, other doctors, counselors, and therapists. I'm either treated without respect, like a dysfunctional/hopeless being with no chance of getting better, or ignored, with people telling me I'm very successful and have a great life. Either way, I've always felt very offended and uncared for by any mental health specialist.
So, I'm not comfortable with seeing anyone else. It's either him or nobody! I've been scarred and hurt. Maybe I'll get over it in 10-20 years and reconsider. Right now, it won't happen. I'm sure he'll understand that because he knows my personality a little bit. I'd rather go completely untreated than see another doctor. Sad, but true.
I think one of the biggest obstacles would be that it causes insomnia, but I'm gonna bet he doesn't know much of anything about EMSAM, so it may not be an issue. If it is, I'll have to reiterate how lathargic and fatigued I am right now (I'm currently sleeping up 18 hours a day and not sure how the 8-12 hours of classes next week is going to work out!). Although sleeping well at night is an issue, so is getting through the day at a functional level!
The help I've received from him medication-wise has always been the direct result of my requests. I asked for a medication for social anxiety and received Paxil. I then asked to switch when it wasn't going well. I asked for Klonopin + Adderall. I asked for Xanax. I asked for an ADHD med. I asked for a sleep med and changes with it. I know nothing will come about unless I spell out exactly what I want. He's really happy to write prescriptions though. I've only had a couple of suggestions turned down, most are honored without much thought or question. But ahhh!!! An MAOI? I'm getting toward my risky requests here!
poster:jealibeanz
thread:677450
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060825/msgs/680220.html