Posted by jealibeanz on July 23, 2006, at 9:25:46
In reply to Re: emsam 6 mg/24 = ? oral selegiline? » jealibeanz, posted by laima on July 23, 2006, at 8:53:52
I don't actually think SSRI's would help, but maybe I could bring it up as an option, I'm afraid to though. I really don't think I'll ever be properly medicated. It seems the harder I've ever pursued, the worse treatment I got (with new docs and a psychiatrist). They seem to not take me seriously, make me feel like a horrible messed up human being who's just a little kid and isn't having the perfect fantasy life and therefore wants drugs, and then they turn me away saying I have no depression or anxiety.
My family practitioner is the only person who ever acts at all interested. That is why I'm with him right now. I'm so thankful that he's willing to give me Xanax, without making me feel like an addict. And, he did increase my dosage to .5 mg 3xdaily. That's actually going to be a little much, but maybe I won't tell him that. I fear that I need to hoard the medication, because once I move farther, or god forbid he moves, I'll never get it again.
The depression is bad though, and he doesn't know it. It's not that it's always terrrible, but it's knowing that it's recurrent (definitely seasonal and other times too) since I was 15 and willlll come back that makes it so tough to have a positive outlook. I feel weak for not be happy with my life and for complaining to my doc. I have a good family, friends, and wonderful opportunities and experiences. I should be happy, yet I'm sitting here crying as I write this.
I don't sleep right now more than 3-4 hours a night for the past few months. So that doesn't help. But I don't want to write my depression off as being caused by insomnia and anxiety. They're just comorbidities or symptoms of the depression in my opinion.
poster:jealibeanz
thread:645567
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060717/msgs/669641.html