Posted by snapper on July 1, 2006, at 4:23:13
what does one do in the case of constant "what if and only if" rumination most of the "crap" that happened to me and came about me, came in 97' through 2003' It was legal stuff and very close to my heart...for I was being sued by investors, losing my business, living in severe anxiety depression and I was in a position of no way out. I started and created a business that for many years was very successful and then all s&iT hit the fan fgor many reasons. I ended up broke, legally screwed in aspects of things I did and did NOT do hopeless, helpless, and very depressed that I would never end up in my field of business ever again. My self esteem is none the less shattered. Ch 7 Bankruptcy was really the only option out . I also to this day am fighting a legal issue that should have been put to bed 6 to 7 years ago. I am sick of the what ifs and what ifI did this or that. Especially since I have intrusive and very ruminative, OCD thoughts and feelings...I am sick of thinking and going throught the same stuff hr by hr day by day and the dr.s therapists and what not just don't know what to do with me. Does anyone have any real good suggestions or advice for a circular thinker like me. I find it very hard to go on when everything seems to be a "triggr" no wonder I am not getting any better and I feel shame , sad, shameful, regretful, and at times, suicidal....Damn I have been on all the meds. I feel like I am bankrupt, phisically, morally, spiritually, and least but last financially. What to do.? I live each day in semi-conciousness of well maybe "it" will go away... it wont. I have a ghost I created and it will not go away.
Snapper
poster:snapper
thread:663183
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060701/msgs/663183.html