Posted by willyee on June 19, 2006, at 14:02:02
I know for at least myself,i must at times come across as a Hypocrite,at times seeming PRO drug,...others seeming ANTI drug.
The truth of the matter is im not a Hypocrite,just confused.Sometimes i think the drugs are helping,then i feel they arent.
I try to appreciate the relieaf i get off parnate when i usualy have to decrease,and then get to increase again.Then i stop and wonder should i be grateful that i found a drug that does help to an extent,or would i have been better off never having it,as it made me worse,i dont know the answer to this and it frustrates me.
My views will probuably continue to change,however at the moment and after thinking in bed last night after having a number of drugs in my body,script ones,was this......
Perhaps chemical imbalances are just an end result to something more complex in the brain that is wrong,what were not told on websites is that a lot of imbalances show in testings,nutrients,amino ratios,and varios nuero transmitters.
So what if we are simply playing a juggling game.I notice how common it is that a person on a AD is also on a sedative.
Are we raising chemicals,and since there is no testing available are we doing so to excess,and simply re versing the effects of that with benzos and sedatives,only to re start the whole juggling process the next day?Sorta like a pink pong effect.Is this why we have robust responses usualy at the start of a new drug only to loose it,perhaps it is just the brain reacting to a new drug affecting it as it would in any case.
Right now i feel thats all im doing,i honestly dont feel im treating anything,just juggling my chemicals around to suit my needs.One reasoning of this that really holds me is amino supplemnation.If anyone is in the workout thing,or for whatever other reason has used amino supplmenting,they would know its recomended that cycling be done,reason is aminos are branched,and constantly affecting one eventualy effects the chain,meaning effects the whole balance,so the cycling is recomended so the brain can reload the aminos from protein into a balance.
Wouldent it make sense in the case where we cant test on the levels of chemicals these drugs are affecting that by logic raising one will only lead to an imbalance of some other?Perhaps maois work better for some people cause they are not very selective in the chemicals they increase which works out when u dont know what exactly is imbalnced in the process of juggling.
I know after a high benzo dose,parnate always works,but the dose im speaking of is not obtainable and from my understanding of benzos dangerous.But at times when i have used very high doses for me of a benzo,i.e 2 mg of klonopin in a setting,possably nuerotion as well,upon waking i feel nervous etc,however even a sinle parnate at this point stimulates me,is this simply a obvious juggle reaction of raising sedative properties so high that a raise of stumalitve ones now has a sharp response?
I dunno,i explained the results of my recent doc visit,and im actualy doing better,ive been getting out a lot more,interacting a lot more,but i still dont feel like myself,and although my immediate family reminds me its at least a small shift towards the postive pendalum it doesent matter to me,i dont want some fake feeling of good or bad,i simply want to feel like myself so my personality can come out and shine,i dont want a drug combo to allow me to get out and be about if it hinders who i am and makes me feel icky,i guess for now until i can take care of some things,its better than nothing.
Just wanted to share my thoughts at this particular moment.
poster:willyee
thread:658721
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060617/msgs/658721.html