Posted by corafree on May 30, 2006, at 10:54:21
In reply to Re: Welloft » corafree, posted by SLS on May 29, 2006, at 9:01:52
Hi Scott & all ...
I'm really sort of shocked. I can't fathom how YOU know yourself so well. It seems like you let nothing distract you from 'how U are feeling'? How do you do this?
I would have to be in a hospital where no one in my fam/friends knew I was, where I had a lot of faith in the providers, to 'get fixated on how each addition or increase or decrease or discontinuation' felt.
I would basically have to be able to separate my mind from myself as an 'emotional person' ... like being outside myself and watching myself.
I'm on 10 measly mgs of a TCA and I can feel it! I took 20mg two days and I felt anxious.You're on a TCA of 100mg as a part of six.How do you separate out your affects/effects(whichever)?
How do you not let a 'spat w/ a fam' member' or the 'explosion of a bottle of soda in your fridge' not interrupt your self-monitoring? How do you know life situations aren't involved?
I've printed three posts, yours and some that follow.
I guess I'm 'overboard scared'. I'm not the easiest person to get along with ... I have a lot of energy going alot of ways, positive and negative. W/ a possible dx of borderline, who am I to begin with? I have a glimpse. Do I even remember what normal felt life? I feel a twinge.
To answer your ?, no, never on an MAOI; they're the scariest! Why? They just sound scary!
Dang it .. ran out of ink so only your page printed. Still this 'Awakening' thing ... I'm very familiar with.
Maybe I need a whole lot more than I want to face. Maybe I'm too scared to go there. I'm freakin' scared! What if I went away and never came back. I wouldn't even know it. Would someone put/take/bring me home?
I am going to talk w/ my P about a 'cocktail' or 'recipe' or whatever anyone calls it. I've never been on one.
The longest time spent w/ one P was 10yrs and most of it was spent on a benzo and the original Effexor tablets. I was working. I did have a lot of hormonal changes at that time in my life. I was basically doing pretty well. Then my husband started hitting me more often. That's when I lost myself I think. My P should have seen that. Someone should have taken me by the hand and said 'get out of there and come this way', but no one did. I stayed until I became who I am now. I just awakened from four nightmares last night's sleep, all about him, persecuting me. We divorced in 1996!!!
Well this is too long. I'd like to stay w/ the thread. I won't say as much. I must need more attention or information than any P has ever given me. Often I'll hear "You don't look sick!". (I hate that one.) I often feel like ending my life ... I should look like I have a foot in a grave!
Yeah, I'll just uh reload my ink cartridge and follow thread. Don't dodge me pls. I need your info.
love,cf
poster:corafree
thread:648530
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060530/msgs/650427.html