Posted by joslynn on April 24, 2006, at 15:27:09
In reply to Re: Guilt and Shame about taking Meds :(, posted by minimal on April 23, 2006, at 14:52:37
Hi. I struggle with those same feelings of guilt, shame and worry about the meds on and off. Right now, I am staying on them and here are some things I remind myself to help with the shame and anti-meds feelings:
I remember that I have had three recurrent severe depressions over my lifetime, with little mini episodes in between. I have a serious condition. It is not a touch of the blues. So I have to treat it seriously.
Also, I have read that recurrent depression itself causes damage to your brain chemicals, due to the releases of stress hormones. The book "The Noonday Demon" describes this well. So, while taking meds does affect brain chemistry, so does depression, in a worse way (for me). It is not like going through the depressions "au naturel" without meds is the "healthy" choice."
My Dad, who is I am convinced has suffered from untreated depression all his life, self-medicated with alcohol. Now he doesn't drink, but he just isolates at home most of the time, sitting on the couch, smoking cigarettes and yelling at the TV and my mom. That is his life. When I visit my parents and look at him, I realize that without meds, I may have been just like him. (He is very anti-meds AND anti-therapy.) So I look at him as an example of what I do not want to become.
If it is any consolation, I have been on meds about five years now, and my memory is fine. I work in a stressful field and get raises/am successful etc. Mentally I feel perfectly fine, not high and not fuzzy. Of course, this is not the case for everyone.
Also, going off meds won't just affect me. It will affect my boyfriend, my job, my friends, my creative writing. That's another thing that helps me stay on meds.
I admit though, some days I think to myself, you know, I could probably just throw those meds out the window and be fine. But then I remember what it was like going through severe depressions.
Another thing that gives me consolation...a lot of really intelligent, successful people are on some type of psych meds. If fact, when I really think about it, the people I know who have gone thru depressions and are now on meds are actually some of the smartest, most compassionate, creative people I know.
Well, those are just some random thoughts that help me.
poster:joslynn
thread:635861
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060423/msgs/636596.html