Posted by Don_Bristol on April 12, 2006, at 19:54:07
In reply to Re: MAOI's and permanent sleep problems???, posted by Enigma on April 12, 2006, at 13:15:58
On April 12, 2006, at 13:15:5 ENIGMA wrote:
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-- trimmed --Unfortunately, the rage stuff, violent fantasies and the like, have been with me for many, many years. Started a little after puberty, after having violent arguments with my so-called parents, and troubles with other kids in school, etc.
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hurt my family in any way, and so on. It's under control - unfortunately the depression isn't.
I've had therapy a number of times, over the years, and it has never helped me rid myself of these violent fantasies.
Honestly, in any of my latest therapy sessions, I don't even bring up the subject. Most people I know don't know about them, and I probably shouldn't be sharing this on-line either. But, I'm just "Enigma" right? ;)
I really hope I didn't spook anyone. Unlike others, I'm actually "used to" these thoughts, as I've had them for so many years, and I've just learned to live with them.
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Enigma, you say you hope you "didn't spook anyone". Hey! Many of us here have problems which would spook others. So you are not at all unusual in this respect.
On this board I have come across so many things which would spook me out if I didn't know better. These things would spook me out if I was expecting to hear about normality.
But this board is not supposed to be a slice of what passes for normality. Instead, it has people who are trying to reach that normality but who, for the time being, think and behave outside that normality.
I think you will find a genuine warm welcome here. I for one, welcome you. Step aboard. Stay as long as you like.
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As for your posting, I can't help but sense overtones of OCD there in your make-up.
First there is the fear from having unwanted thoughts of doing harm. This is very typical of OCD.
Secondly is the outcome of never actually doing what the frightening intrusive thoughts describe - this too is very true of OCD. In fact it is sometimes jokingingly said that OCD people with intrusive thoughts of harming are the safest people to be with those whom the thoughts describe. If you see what I mean. And this is because a typical OCDer will never execute the intrusive thoughts he or she has.See the section Fears Of Harming Others at <http://tinyurl.com/rgcra>;
Thirdly, the depression. Many OCDers have depression in the adult life. There seesm to be a relatively high likelihood of that happenin
Sad to hear you didn't share your intrusive thoughts of harm with your therapist. Maybe you did not feel you had the trust which allowed you to speak freely. That happens. If you can manage it, it might be well worth dicussing it.
Don
poster:Don_Bristol
thread:631813
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060412/msgs/632342.html