Posted by Chairman_MAO on March 2, 2006, at 20:47:24
In reply to Re: The Truth Do SSRI's and SSNRI's Work For Anyon » Chairman_MAO, posted by linkadge on March 2, 2006, at 20:01:17
Who I once was? I never understood why people are told that a drug can restore you to the "old you". Obviously it is not going to do that, because the state of consciousness is drug-induced. It may be more pleasant, but it certainly isn't "the old you". The "old you" had functional serotonin uptake transporters. We all may or may not suffer from neurological problems, but if it was found we did, then we'd be seeing neurologists and not psychiatrists. I never wanted to get back to the "old me" because I have been this way ever since I started encoding memories (social phobia/dysthymia/"reward deficiency"). It got a lot worse in adolescence, but, then again, that's when my libido emerged.
If this is who I will always be, then I might as well cease to be. That is why I am bothering with these drugs; I want to get some enjoyment out of life. I'd like to feel some sense of accomplishment when I do good things like most people do! I'd like to feel something else besides self-loathing for a change.
I was lucky enough to be so gifted intellectually (and have parents that did very well for themselves) that I managed to make it through 2.5 years of college at Syracuse University, making dean's list twice. I say "so gifted" because it was an effort to follow through any task to completion. I had plenty of an interest in sex, but my social phobia/rejection sensitivity/lack of self confidence was so great that I had absolutely none until I was 19. I have only had two relationships. If I were well, I probably would be in a top graduate school now. If I didn't have Ritalin I never would've gotten through even those 2.5 years.
When I was placed on an SSRI my grades plummetted and I started smoking pot all day long. I eventually failed out, and my life has basically been mostly failures ever since. I originally saw a shrink just to have my ritalin switched to dexedrine. She saw I was depressed, and I--so naively--shared everything with her about the drugs I'd experimented with. She told my parents without my consent, claiming I was "in danger of hurting myself and should be hospitalized". Yeah, right, sure; I never said a peep about suicide to her. My parents pulled the Ritalin away after I'd been on it for 5 years, and I went from dysthymia into major depression. "trust me," she said as she handed me Effexor. Maybe one day she'll be depressed, take an SSRI, and enjoy what it's like to exist in a fog of apathy all day while your life disintegrates around you. I wish I never rocked that boat. Most of the people in that profession are the people that aren't talented enough to become real doctors. Some of them mean well, a number of them are gifted in various ways, but most of them are self-righteous buffoons. How can anyone claim to be a doctor that treats the biological causes of diseases that do not have an identified biological basis? 1+1=3?
A whale is a fish? Huh?Modern American mainstream psychiatry is social control masquerading as medicine. Most psychiatric diagnoses are shallow character judgements that wear the mantle of science. The psychiatrist is an agent of the state who conspires with it in justifying the government-sanctioned drug cartels (pharmaceutical companies). War on drugs? Right. "War on the First Amendment". Where would the CIA get its money for black-budget coup de etats in foreign countries if it weren't for heroin and cocaine trades?
Remember, if it is untaxed and you don't have a permission slip signed by a grown-up saying you can take it, the drug is bad for you.
poster:Chairman_MAO
thread:613775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060227/msgs/615153.html