Posted by iforgotmypassword on January 28, 2006, at 18:20:54
"I've felt so completely immobile, as though I was withdrawn inside myself, and unable to get the impulses towards movement far enough out of my brain for my body to work."
i feel deeply like this explains how i feel all the time, and almost categorizes the root everything i am experiencing so severely now and for so many years, yet no one thinks it is anything but characterological fault. it IS PARALYSIS. it is having your mind almost as if almost being erased except for deadening factual data, segmented into inaccessible compartments, then being filled with cement and locked inside, where you cannot reach out to anybody.
i can talk and babble, but the paralysis extends so that i can only talk meaninglessly and can't say anything with any feeling or purpose, or even any actual relevance to me like i actually exist in the world. being around people is an anaesthetic and i can only be complacent and supportive of their arguments in their presence.
i just wanted to thank you for what you said.
please let me know if you ever find anything that helps, i am extremely desperate myself. (i am looking at lyme and the positive test i've had, but all doctors i see tell me to ignore it, and that my problems are characterological, not biological... :( )
poster:iforgotmypassword
thread:603857
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060122/msgs/603857.html