Posted by 4WD on January 10, 2006, at 22:25:56
In reply to Re: When are benzos justified? - 4WD » 4WD, posted by Declan on January 10, 2006, at 1:13:48
> Marsha, you've got something different, haven't you, if I remember correctly, waking in fear and stuff. I certainly don't want to be prescriptive.
> DeclanYeah, I wake up scared with fear and dread and guilt in the pit of my stomach. And I'm jittery and nervous like I have too much adrenaline in my bloodstream. (Although I'm not nearly as bad now as I was a year ago).
I hadn't taken a benzo in almost 20 years before this happened. I fought tooth and nail against the idea of Klonopin or any other benzo because I've been there before (using Ativan as a sleep aid for 10 years and stopping it cold turkey). But when I reached the point of suicide from the fear, I gave up and took the effing Klonopin.
At one point I went off it for about a month because I got to thinking maybe my recurring anxiety was because I had gotten used to the K. AFter a month off it, my anxiety was just getting worse. AGain, almost ended up in the hospital to keep myself safe - the fear was that intense.
So now I take my Klonopin. I'm supposed to be taking .5mg three times a day but I only take it twice a day. I'm still terrified of it and am living for the day when the anxiety abates to the point that I can stop it.
I feel guilty for taking a benzo because I abused Ativan in the past. But I don't abuse the Klonopin at all. My pdoc is always trying to get me to up the dosage and I just have a phobia about it. I just can't bring myself to take more than 1mg a day and I'm constantly trying to figure out how to get by with less. (And reducing my dosage without telling him).
Benzos are scary. I hate them. But Klonopin definitely saved my life.
Marsha
poster:4WD
thread:594786
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060108/msgs/597792.html