Posted by GeishaGirl on December 19, 2005, at 2:20:31
In reply to Re: For geisha, posted by JACJ on December 12, 2005, at 19:00:21
Sorry, I couldn't reply sooner Jacj, have had the flu.
The physical part of the widrawal wasn't too bad. I tapered the 3 meds over about a year and a half. Felt some physical symptoms along the way, but ate well and took vitamins and herbal supplements. That helped a lot. I also made sure that I got at least 6 hours of sleep a night.
The hardest part for me wasn't the physical withdrawal. For me, all those meds over all those years managed to supress or numb the feelings that I had regarding the traumas that I experienced over the course of my life. When the meds were completely gone and the physical stuff subsided, the emotions flooded - I mean really flooded to the surface.
Prior to going off meds, I had a strong support system and also a written plan on how to take care of myself when things got rough. I wouldn't have been able to do what I did and stay off without these things. I also made the decision that taking care of myself was a priority over everything else.
I had read about the emotional flood after going off meds. The thing is that I was never able to talk to someome who was on the level of meds that I was on for the duration that I was on. So, the emotional flood was much more intense for me than anything I ever read.
I like to make very clear to everyone I ever talk to about this that yes, this was one of the best things I've ever done in my life. It is also one of the hardest. Even after 3 years off meds, I still feel intense emotional turmoil sometimes. But, these experiences are happening less frequently and are shorter in duration. And I am able to let go of or work on whatever was causing the turmoil, which never really happened when I was on meds. I also give myself a break with the emotional stuff. Sometimes I am that way because I'm in an extremely stressful circumstance, one in which any "average" person might react similarly.
I went off meds and stay off them for the same reasons. This is the only way for me to truly heal. Aside from the side effects that I mentioned, the meds numbed me out and scrambled my brain so much that it made it impossible for me to get to the root of why I was the way I was. I figured this out one day. I didn't decide to go off all meds at the time, that was a decision I made along the way. I kept tapering because I kept feeling more and more like myself again and was able to access the part of myself that was wounded, but gone for a long time. That was hard, but for me being on meds, having really bad side effects and losing the essence of who I am (my soul actually felt dead) was worse. I now feel a freedom and inner peace that I never felt before. I always feel that undercurrent of freedom and peace, even though it sometimes gets chaotic :)
Thanks for asking Jacj. Hope you don't mind all this reading, I dont' like to give a short answer to the kind of questions you asked, it feels too misleading :)
Geisha Girl
> Hi Geisha,
> Did you go thru bad withdrawal? Wow, you were on so many. Good for you to withdraw. What made you come off the drugs?
>
> Jacj :)
poster:GeishaGirl
thread:584881
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051211/msgs/590305.html