Posted by bigcat on December 6, 2005, at 11:00:30
In reply to Re: Effexor: The agony and the ecstacy, posted by blueberry on December 6, 2005, at 5:02:04
Very interesting about the Zyprexa. Where would I be without this forum? It always gives me ideas and hope. Thanks a ton blueberry. I was very surprised about the comment that poopout could indicate bipolar. I often wonder when a med kicks so wonderfully whether I become slightly manic, or if its just me being thrilled to be alive and free. That said, I was definatley hypomanic on the Marplan, Dexedrine, and Nardil when each fist kicked in. I've taken Lithium and Lamictal on their own (I'm still on the Lamictal in conjunction with the Effexor) and they haven't touched my depression. It's quite possible that I'm bipolar yet only experience the one side of the condition, being terribly depressed. Since my mood never changes unless a med brings me a little too high (only to fall off immedaitely afterwards), the mania never manifests itslef, and I feel that a mood stabilizer is extraneous if all it would do is prevent the hypomania that could (very rarely) occur upon starting a new med.
I obsess horribly and believe this is the hub of my depressive wheel. The cycling thoughts are just really amped up, and I would even call them racing. While racing thoughts are associated with mania, these racing thoughts just keep reminding myself of how horrible I feel. I can't escape my mind and am always talking to myself and never just responding. I can't break the "ME ME ME" barrier. I'd' call it obsessive self- referencing, always watching myself and never "BEING" myself. Thanks again, and I hope you may able to shine some light on what I descibed.
Zyprexa is an anti-psychotic, right? Could it, in addition to preventing poopout, free me from talking to myself and never living "in the moment"? The self-examination never ceases and just reinforces my depressive thought patterns. When the depression is broken up, I still don't have a calm feeling. I obsess about being better, constantly telling myself how good I feel, which is unnatural and not, I believe, what remission should feel like. Grrrr...
-matt-
poster:bigcat
thread:585804
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051203/msgs/586074.html