Posted by AMD on November 2, 2005, at 14:40:30
After weeks of abstinence, I fell off the wagon Saturday by drinking way too much and insufflating far more cocaine than I've ever taken. Today, Wednesday, I feel absolutely horrid. I can't focus, I feel depressed and hyper, I have no motivation, I'm obsessing over my health, that I'm losing my hair, that my teeth are getting crooked. In short, I'm a mess.
Yesterday my doctor prescribed Zyprexa, 10 m.g., until I get get a psychiatrist. I didn't take one last night, hoping my depression would subside on its own. But now I'm worried it's not going to subside. I feel so physically ill in addition to the mental illness (likely intertwined with it) that I'm worried one more medicine will make me feel worse.
In addition, I'm afraid of the weight gain, which would be compounded by the fact I have no motivation to go to the gym.
Finally, doesn't Zyprexa antagonize at the dopamine receptors? And if so, wouldn't that make the dopamine rebound from cocaine that much worse?
Am I ever going to escape from this feeling? I feel myself crumbling. I want to cry. I am so utterly depressed.
Please help. I don't have my psychiatrist appointment until next week, and I feel like I may completely fall apart by then.
amd
poster:AMD
thread:574577
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051031/msgs/574577.html