Posted by Girlnterrupted on November 2, 2005, at 6:45:53
When one AD worked wonders for me, one of my doctors concluded that I was 'hypomanic,' but I disgreed with her.
The story is: I had chronic depression ever since I can remember. I went on Celexa and it cured the depression and basically transformed me into a different person.
When Celexa pooped-out, I saw like 4 different psychiatrists. One of them, after hearing my account of how Celexa turned my life around, concluded that I had been hypomanic during that year, and that it was not a good thing. I was shocked to hear that. How could it not be good to be happy, social and active? I didn't spend my money, take risks, or get into dangerous situations, like manic people do. How could she know whether it was hypomania, or just my real personality, minus the depression?
When she asked me to describe my experience, this is what I said:
Overnight (2 weeks into Celexa) I became extremely happy. I woke up with a feeling of well-being, balance and happiness to be alive. I did NOT want to die at all, something that I had been thinking about and wishing everyday for the last whole year.
People outside reacted very positively to me. Some people said I was very charismatic--I had never been told that in my whole life. Usually I was told I was quiet and introverted. Now I was extroverted and outgoing. I was very very talkative and I laughed very easily and made people laugh. I came up with really funny things, I ALWAYS had something to say, comments would just spring up my mind and I felt so creative and full of life.
Other people told me "Hey, you will end up running this place by yourself" when I was at work. That's just how full of energy and happiness I felt and how I transmitted it to others.
The emotional energy I had was actually contagious. I recall how people around me would get so happy just by being around me for a few minutes. They would start laughing and picking up my enthusiasm, and it was amazing how contagious it was.Even in my dreams I was overwhelmed with happiness. I began dreaming really often about flying. I would just take off, and I would propell myself very high in the sky. People would watch me in amazement, but nobody but ME could fly. It was great, even while asleep I was happy.
My doctor concluded it was hypomania. That was a WHOLE year. Can hypomania last that long without a single interruption? I told her it wasn't, and that it was probably my real 'me,' and that the old 'me' was just a depressed version of me. How could my real 'me' be unhappy, depressed and apathetic 100% of the time?
I was simply acting like one of those really outgoing, energetic girls, and there are quite a bunch of those out there. Or what, are all those girls hypomanic too? I doubt it. So why would this be hypomania in me, but normalcy in another person?So I was wondering how can anyone tell between hypomania and simply an outgoing/extroverted/charismatic personality?
And if this was in fact hypomania, I wouldn't hesitate in going hypomanic again. Does anyone know how to induce it? I mean, if hypomania saved my life from an imminent suicide, I swear to god I'll go hypomanic any minute.
Any info on this would be greatly appreciated.
poster:Girlnterrupted
thread:574432
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051031/msgs/574432.html