Posted by verne on September 24, 2005, at 22:13:35
In reply to Re: What to take for Atypical Depression, posted by Phillipa on September 24, 2005, at 15:34:09
Phillipa, I'm in a kind of constant, quiet emotional pain so I guess I'm emotional. I'm not crying much at all so in that sense I'm flat. Although I laugh a lot at comedies and tend to be a bit of a comic myself.
I find driving to be overwhelming. Riding a bike is worse. Finally, even walking can be overwhelming. Hypervigilence has been mentioned in my diagnosis. At times I feel like I'm swimming and even the air is palpable. I'm even trying to "see" the air.
My main problem is probably borderline personality disorder although the self-injury (cutting) ceased in my early 30's. I have no sense of self, so there's no one there to enjoy anything. Everything seems contrived, nothing spontaneous.
This emptiness leads to lack of motivation and extreme boredom. It doesn't help that I consider my life a failure, having wasted much of it drinking and talking about what I one day would accomplish. Avoidance, withdrawal, and escape are common themes in my past.
I also have PTSD and atypical depression. What is your condition called and are you taking anything for it? I may try parnate next.
Verne
poster:verne
thread:558911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050921/msgs/559236.html