Posted by pretty_paints on August 11, 2005, at 7:41:12
In reply to Re: Clozapine - will this tiredness get any better?, posted by Phillipa on August 10, 2005, at 20:51:17
Hi guys
I have been home for a few days now. I actually don't like it at all, I don't feel safe. I was getting used to things in hospital, food there all the time, no stress. I feel like I've been turfed out of the place, they just decided that I should leave. There are plenty of people who seem to be just fine who have been in there months and months. I can't help feeling jealous in a way. Why are they allowed the care but not me? Have I done something wrong? Is everyone angry at me?
Last night the crisis team called and took my blood pressure sitting down and standing up. Apparently it was too low standing up, so they told me not to take last nights or this mornings dose of Clozapine. They came out today with the doctor and measured it again, and now they are saying they are going to keep this dose for 4 days and then if my blood pressure stabilises, start increasing it again. I'm supposed to drink lots of coffee (yuk).
I feel totally weird and different today. Maybe it's because I haven't taken any of the drug today. My head feels in pieces, like I can't link anything up. It's all disjointed and wrong. I feel really low too, maybe even a bit depressed. I can't see things getting any better just coz of a stupid drug. I feel like this is the way it's going to be forever.
I'm starting the MWF (monday, wednesday, friday) group tomorrow. It's from 10am-2pm. However, i did it before in the past, and it just makes me feel like im taking a step back and im never going to get better. I think I actually had got used to things in hospital and coming out is quite a shock (even though at the time I said i hated it).
Anyway hope you are all ok.
speak again soon
kate xx
poster:pretty_paints
thread:539956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050811/msgs/540221.html