Posted by linkadge on July 5, 2005, at 16:08:47
In reply to Re: What meds are you currently on ??, posted by Denise1966 on July 5, 2005, at 2:40:21
I have never really been PRO-ECT, but the problem was that being off meds has given me SO many different ways of seeing things. I was lied to in so many ways.
I was repeately told that the meds would not cause suicidal thinking.
When I was taking the SSRI high dose, there wasn't 5 minautes that went by that I wouldn't say "I want to kill myself", "I want to kill myself" under my breath.
Maybe it was a tremendous internal akathesia that left me prepetually unsettled, I don't know.
What I do know, is that a week or two after completely stopping the meds (although I felt blue) I was not saying "I want to kill myself"
I would say now that I am mildly depressed, but not suicidal.
I was lied to. I was lied to, in perhaps the most dangerous way possable. I would have killed myself, especially if the medication was increased further. It would have been disastorous if I had been given ECT for this med induced suicidiality.I don't tell this story quite frankly because nobody (not my doctors, and not many people here) will believe me when I say that the antidepressant was making me suicidal.
I have to rethink everything.
I am not anti-psychiatry, because I know that the meds can help at times. But I know that my brain chemistry must have changed, because when I took celexa again after stopping it. It was a entirely different experience. A very, very negative one.
I just think there is another way.
ECT is a treatment unlike any other. It is not a treatment where you say "Oh well, it didn't work, lets try whats next"
It can be life altering (notice I don't say life changing). I just think it could be something that (like many others I know) regret for the rest of their life.
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the meds you are on are pro-kindling. I would try this regiment.
Folic Acid 1 mg in AM.
Paxil 10-20mg in AM.Magnesium 200-300 mg in PM
Taurine 1000mg in PM.
NO ZYPREXALinkadge
poster:linkadge
thread:522514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050702/msgs/523817.html