Posted by Breebee on July 2, 2005, at 23:53:46
I'm a 21 year old female that has been diagnosed with a chemical imbalance since i was 13. It all started when my family had to move just before high school. I lost all popularity that I had and thought life was going to end. Oh ya don't forget my Father telling us in the middle of a public full resturant that I have an older brother that I really didn't know about. So the year was sh*t. I knew no one and just wanted to hide. My attitude just kept getting worse and the violence towards loved ones just kept getting worse. My parents said they noticed back when I was ten that things were starting to change but really didn't think anything was wrong. Well to make a long story short I was diagnosed with skizoaffective disorder. I was put into the psych ward 3 times between 14 and 16 and thought at 16 drugs and alcohol were a better medication. I ended up getting into alot of trouble. I hung out with the ones who could get and that meant they were 4-15 years older than I was. I beat on my Father and he actually ran after me in his underwear across our front lawn cuz i wanted to meet this guy who i knew would have what i wanted. At 17 I left home and slept in this very dirty house with booze and drugs at my finger tips. I also got raped. THat put my deppression even worse and I started drinking even more. At 18 i meant this guy who i thought was the best and ended up getting pregneant. He beat the sh*t out of me for 5 months and almost killed the unborn child. 7 months later she was born but not with alot of complications in between. After she turned a year I got right back into the drugs and alcohol even harder than before. NOt saying right after she was born i wasn't doing anyhting. I got into shooting up morphine and drinking and anything else that supposedly made me feel good. in june when she was 1 and a half i phoned family services and gave her over to foster care. I wanted the drugs booze and men more than anything else in the world. i ran off to british columbia canada that summer and lived on the streets with some guy who called himself slayer. he was cute and and addicted everything i needed. i slept with everyone and did tricks for drugs. at the end of the summer i saw a guy get stabbed and he died in my arms. I WOKE UP!!!!!!!!. I called home and came home. I slept for the next two weeks then my 21st birthday came and I got my daughter living with me. NOt mine but living with my parents too. I saw lots of doctors and ended up in treatment. I ended up getting kicked out but stayed in that city. I saw a good pshycologist and got on great medications after being the hospital for a month. I now finally realize that I'm really sick without meds or help all the time. But to let EVERYONE know if I can do it after all that so can ANYONE ELSE!!!! I'm really happy most of the time now. ITs going to take awhile but I do know that I will get there. I'm also holding down my first ever full time job and am just on June 30th am self sufficient. Its great. Keeping going. I am.
poster:Breebee
thread:522798
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050702/msgs/522798.html