Posted by Dinah on June 26, 2005, at 8:55:45
In reply to Re: Sleeping constantly. Strong suicidal ideation with » Dinah, posted by Ron Hill on June 25, 2005, at 18:59:15
> Dinah,
>
> I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. I've always admired your passion and your giving spirit. You like to cheer for the underdog, don't you? Dinah, I want to help you if I can.Thanks, Ron. That means a lot coming from you.
>
> I've read so many of your posts over the years, that I feel like I know you fairly well. As an aside, do you have pictures in your mind of certain people on the boards? My picture of you has always been of an attractive lady in her late twenties, about 5'4'' and 125 lb, full of energy and passion, working at a computer in her cubicle at her job where she is an energizer bunny getting lots done and keeping harmony within the office with her fun loving spirit of encouragement.Chuckle. I hate to disillusion you, but...
5"7" nearly 200 lb, with as little energy as anyone could possibly have and live, working on a computer from home and avoiding anyone from work like the plague because I'm so far behind. Truth be told, I used to be a great employee, eight years ago, and I keep longing for my days of glory.
>
> When I see your posts it’s usually over on admin. I don't see you here on the med board very often. Therefore, I know very little about your dx and meds. From Scott's post on this thread, it appears that you are bipolar. Do you mind telling me your full dx (i.e.; BP II plus what else)? Also, please list your current meds and dosages. Are you satisfied with your current pdoc?He's ok. He doesn't scare me, and he doesn't push drugs at me. After previous pdocs that's enough.
Ok, more than you ever wanted to know about Dinah:
He's formally diagnosed me as cyclothymic and OCD. I have been hypomanic, almost always in response to medication changes or sleep deprivation. In general, my highs are below hypomanic, and take the form of "enthusiasms" about this or that.
I've also got health conditions that affect or are affected by stress and mental health concerns. Diabetes (controlled by Glucophage), migraines, and IBS. Oh, and the neurologist is sure I have narcolepsy, but I don't necessarily agree. I'm not sure my "involuntary naps" or "forgetting sleeps" aren't psychological.
After a nasty postpartum depression, I was put on Luvox for OCD and depression. I don't do overly well on antidepressants, and while I got better some ways I got worse others (started self injury etc.). The response was more and different AD's until I was in agitated hypomanic h*ll on Wellbutrin and maximum Luvox, to the point I was suicidal. The pdoc blew up, blaming me. I had enough self respect to give him the boot. I found my current pdoc, who immediately put me on a mood stabilizer. I had stopped the Wellbutrin on my own. Eventually I quit the Luvox, leaving me just on Depakote (very low dose) and Klonopin (1 mg). There were some short trials of other AD's. Remeron put me out for a weekend. Nortriptyline and Effexor sent me into hypomania like Wellbutrin. I discovered that the occasional Risperdal was very good for my anxiety.
My migraine doctor upped the Depakote to unacceptable levels, side effect wise (too sleepy), and took me off it mid to late May to start me on Topomax. But since I've had kidney stones she said I couldn't have that and used Lamictal instead.
Off the Depakote, I pretty much returned to my unmedicated state, which at present I think is vastly superior to medicated. I felt fine during the day, and had trouble with waking up at 4 am (daylight savings time, 3 am regular) with anxiety. I'd be up ten minutes sometimes, two hours others, then back to sleep. My migraines were no different than on Depakote. Sounds pretty good to me right now.
> Symptoms of atypical depression can include low motivation, anergy (i.e.; low physical and mental energy), anhedonia, mood reactivity (i.e.; situational changes can temporarily alter the severity of the depression), hypersomnia, hyperphagia, leaden paralysis, and rejection sensitivity. Would you characterize your depression as the atypical variety? Which aspect of your bipolar disorder is more problematic, depression or hypomania?
>
I always think of my main problem as being more anxiety than depression, though I've had bouts of major depression. I do have mood instability. Including despair and suicidal ideation at times, and "enthusiasms" at other times. I'm not sure about atypical. My downs are not the same from one time to the next. Sometimes they're more agitated, sometimes more apathy and leadenness. Always there is rejection sensitivity, but I'm guessing that's psychological in cause.Oh, and this is purely speculative, but so much of what's wrong with me, including some very silly minor things that are nonetheless interesting, can be traced to the cholinergic/adrenergic system. What possible treatment value that can have, I'm not sure.
> I don't want to wear you out with my questions, but if you can, I'd also like to know how long you have been taking p-meds and what meds you have tried in the past. If you don't have the energy to answer all my questions, I understand.
>
You caught me when I was first up. :) Plus I didn't take any Lamictal yesterday. I'm supposed to be taking it every other day.> Lastly, is your tiredness a “sleepy-tiredness” or is it also a lethargy that makes it very difficult to do anything? Does your energy return after you take a nap?
The last two day's it's been a fall on your face, sleepy tiredness, that makes driving downright dangerous if it hits then. When I'm awake I feel all right. But then, wham. I've been sleeping hours at a time, then up for a couple of hours, then out again.
>
> I’m going out of town, so it will likely be a few days before I get back to you.
>
> Be well my friend.Thanks for your interest Ron. I think you know all there is to know about me now. :)
Hmmm... Except that I am "exquisitely sensitive" as my pdoc puts it, to medications. I think that may be his word for a big ole hypochondriac about side effects. lol.
poster:Dinah
thread:518614
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050622/msgs/519135.html