Posted by Maxime on June 22, 2005, at 0:24:26
In reply to Re: Down and out » Maxime, posted by 4WD on June 21, 2005, at 22:42:58
The crappy part of my appointment.
My pdoc is big into exercising to fight depression. But he knows that when you are really down you can't motivate yourself to exercise. But I have been hiking and cycling every day. It hasn't helped yet. He keeps on stressing the exercise. I used to be a compulsive exerciser. I've told him this sevral times but I guess he has forgotten. So today he said try to exercise more. I just kept my mouth shut. At this point I figure what is the point?
I have to keep a mood journal for my pdoc. I plot my mood on a scale on 1-10 and then right in any situational factors that may have contributed to my mood.
This time across the top, I made some extra notations.
1 - My tiredness
2 - Some stuff I can't mention here
3 - How much I hate the way I look and feel about myself and how I want to be at low weight again.Re. # 3 - He said that if I exercise enough and eat properly I can reach my low weight again. HELLO MY LOW WEIGHT WAS 70 POUNDS!
I've talk to him before about my ED and my history with anorexia. I guess he forgets. I guess he sees a big fat person in front of him and doesn't worry about it. I take it as a green light to continue to starve myself. I am not thin enough for him to be concerned. Again, I just kept my mouth shut because I thought "are you a moron?" and "I am worthless fat nothing who doesn't deserve help". He probably doesn't believe me that I have a problem. But I have been given the go ahead to get back to low weight.
I also wish he could have thought of alternatives for the Parnate like taking the Manerix is super high dosages. Or increasing my Trileptal. I mentioned it (the trileptal) and he said no. He believes it cold be bringing my mood down. Well there is only one way to find out, right?
So that's the crappy portion of my appointment. Do I have the right to be angry over the low weight comment? Or am I over reacting?
Maxie, the beached whale
poster:Maxime
thread:515759
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050617/msgs/516924.html