Posted by David Koppman on June 19, 2005, at 12:15:13
In reply to Re: Wellbutrin and Rage!, posted by stresser on January 11, 2005, at 21:10:30
WooHoo. I love the part on the Rx Info Sheet that says "Wellbutrin MAY cause people who cause mania in people who have a tendency to be manic. First three days I took it, I called my Doc & told them they need to change that to "Most Definitely Will." I had to move my 1200mg of lithium from all@night to all@wake-up. I tried moving only 1/2 of it (2x300mg) to the morning, and had no luck in keeping me from be-bopping all over til odd hours of the next day.Even with the lithium in the mornings, after about a year and a half, it appears I'd not re-uptake'd enough dopamine to the point where I was manic daily.
[dopamine = cocaine, meth, crack & fooling the brain's reward system.] This is just a slow build-up rather than one massive dump. I can totally see the paranoia, the anxiety, the mania, the rage. It just takes a bit longer than if you were doing cocaine every day...
I'd say "rage" can border on the psychotic, as I had the realization that Dexedrine had caused my bi-polar disorder to be PERMANENT Schizo-affective disorder [as meth-induced psychosis mirrors schizophrenia, and if it quacks like a psychotic..]
Considering I was 11-15 when I was given those lovely dexies <cough> I became a tad upset. To the point I was ready to go across the street to the local shopping center and empty a few clips into some innocents to make me feel better. (and make it where I don't have to deal with the fact that something I'd thought was genetic, and has affected my whole life, and not for the better, was just brain damage caused by the pharmaceutical company.)[texas is a death penalty state and I was intending to waive my appeals..]
But, YAY! Now I can have kids without a 50-50 of them being completely screwed.
Still, I became quite upset after talking to a few attorneys about the fact that I have a slim window for a products lawsuit since I could not be reasonably expected to know dexedrine could cause harm when I was 11. Considering that's my whole life we're talking about here, fairly screwed off as I'm on total disability now.. I wanted to vent, and not in a good way.
I may be screwed up, but never desired to go on a random killing spree. Naturally, I went and talked it out with a friend and got myself calmed down, by venting on the cause of the initial anger (Dex & resulting damage), but I'm sure glad I don't already own a handgun.
I also question, if one of the reasons I like Wellbutrin as an anti-depressant is less for it's anti-depressant qualities as much as it gives me more dopamine, which dexedrine trained my brain to crave, even if the cravings were for amphetamine in order to GET the dopamine.
Mixing amphetamines and Wellbutrin is NOT recommended, simply because while I'm not going to test the theory, I think releasing massive amounts of dopamine into your brain, that the wellbutrin will block from re-uptake is a good way to have a stroke or a heart attack or some other nasty. (ie. don't mix it with cocaine or any of the other dopamine related stimulants either, adderall would probably be a VERY bad mix.)
Lithium "will" help in supressing the manic tendencies, but after a period of time, will become rather innefectual, and mania (and @ the high-end manic-psychosis ie. rage?) will be more and more likely as the brain builds up a level.
I also find my klonopins both helpful and dangerous at the same time. They tend to assist the lithium in the mood stabilization, as well as take care of this anxiety disorder I seem to have picked up along the way. However, that "I don't care" effect of the benzos, surely was helping me along the path to letting the high-end manic go full-blown and me being news.
I'd advise anyone on Wellbutrin to monitor their moods closely, and if you find yourself getting more and more, bouncy, bee-boppy, manic, call your doc.
I'm thinking since I'm only on 150mg, that I may see about taking it every other day. I didn't bother to call him about my desire to harm others that morning, as I can't afford to spend 30 days in the hospital at the moment, I'm moving state-state in 43 days & it wasn't pressing-danger, just a desire to cause mayhem.
Still, that's spooky, wouldn't you say? I HAD stopped taking it, but only for about 3 weeks. Then I went ahead and decided, SURELY, my dopamine levels can't be that high.. Well, 3 weeks worth of taking it again, made me more manic than ever before, although, admittedly, discovering your entire life has been re-directed due to stimulants given to you as a child would reasonably upset anyone, especially someone who's been getting $6500/yr to live off for the past 10 years. (GO SOCIAL SECURITY -- THANKS SOOOO MUCH.)
(Rent on my one-bedroom is $505 & I get $593.. Dallas. Hence the move, I MIGHT be able to afford middle of nowhere North Alabama. We'll just have to see.)
As for my credentials in writing this, I'm a bit more sane than your average crazy.. (chuckle) All of you crazy's who took offense at that, tuff. I spent 15-18 in in-patient psychiatric from the psychosis caused by the dexedrine, and then the past 16 years since in and out of institutions & outpatient. Only about, um, 6 hospitalizations, but about 1200+ hours of therapy time. So.. I have a grip on this. Love to all, be good.
- Dave [your resident nutjob playing psychologist]
poster:David Koppman
thread:435990
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050617/msgs/515507.html