Posted by Camille Dumont on May 27, 2005, at 14:49:38
In reply to Re: Is anyone scared of their pdoc? » Camille Dumont, posted by ed_uk on May 27, 2005, at 14:28:35
> Hi Camille,
>
> >strong APs ... which I never want to take again.
>
> I'm curious, which APs did you try? Did you have bad side effects?
>
> Regards,
> Ed.Seroquel ... which didn't do anything horrible. Would have been a dieter's dream. It gave me this very strange agitaded sleep that made me wake up freezing because I had sweated so much my bed and clothes were soaked. On it I was losing a poud a week without even trying ... in fact I was sleeping more.
But the idea was to take away visual hallucinations and Seroquel didn't do anything. So then they gave me Zyprexa with no warning as to potential side effects. Heck, I wasn't even told not to drive on the stuff.
It was beyond horrible. I had no clue what was happening but after maybe 3 or 4 days, right during a meeting at work, I tried talking and it was soooo difficult. Then even typing on the computer was difficult. The thoughts were inside my head by it was as if my brain could not make my body obey. Movement became weird. Beyond the twitches, I had a hard time walking and standing. I have a naturally occuring very low blood pressure so with the Zyprexa bending for 10 seconds meant being dizzy when I stood up. I was slowly sinking in a haze ... it felt like a giant vice was constricting my brain ... and I started getting periods of time that I could not remember ... which I later learned were absence seizures. Usually a couple every hour. It was very scary. It made me drop things, stop walking in the middle of the street ... and I became afraid to talk to people, handle my pets, cross the street because I never knew when they would happen next and what crazy accident could happen because of it.
It did accomplish the main goal : I did not see things anymore ... but I hardly had a tought left in my head and from a functionnal / working full time person, I was becomming a total zombie. Thus, the cost was not worth the benefit.
I've made peace with the visual pseudo-hallucinations (I know they are not real ... and they don't interact with me ... I just see them, get surprised, disbelieve them and they vanish). Apparently, its something that happens with SPD ... so little can be done for it. Its just my personality coupled with a very vivid imagination.
Boring street signs transform into ironic and cynical jokes, where you see I shadow, I see a cat, where you see a tree stump, I see a corpse, necklaces look like bugs and people walk around carrying giant tubas. But hey, I prefer my wonky brain than a drugged up one.
poster:Camille Dumont
thread:503098
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050527/msgs/503729.html