Posted by River1924 on May 21, 2005, at 0:48:00
In reply to Re: freaked out by asperger's » Minnie-Haha, posted by fires on May 20, 2005, at 21:25:30
I'm not sure what reactive depression is... I have severe depression (without drugs I obsess about suicide within 2 weeks) and social anxiety (without drugs I act like a lizard... hiding if I think someone on the sidewalk is coming to our house or if I see someone in the grocery store I know.) Now, for the moment, let's assume some of my personality traits are a consequence of Asperger's syndrome. I'm lonely. I haven't had a close friend for several years. When I was younger, young women would be attracted to me. I'm gay but their infatuations would make them much more assertive about our friendships and, somehow, friendships happened. It was nothing I did because I don't know how to do it. In school I couldn't give speeches (I dropped out of college three times due to public speaking) and I have trouble with conversations because I don't know what to communicate. What do "they" know and feel and what do I know and feel? Both are questions I have trouble answering. So, being totally confused, I just don't say anything. I'm totally isolated. As a child, a classmate would visit a lot and stay nights and this went on for several years. We had a lot of fun. But one time in eight grade, he talked about our friendship and I asked, "Are we friends?" He was hurt and I was confused. So, even if there is someone in my life, I may not (however this is possible) know it. So, my point is: as life goes on lonliness turns into despair, frustration into hopelessnee, and normal stuff an endless source of mystery and anxiety. I don't know what you were referring to... but this is my experience regardless of the theory. Peace and good will, River.
poster:River1924
thread:499690
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050516/msgs/500645.html