Posted by 4WD on May 11, 2005, at 18:20:15
I don't care what happens to me anymore.
I am depressed and horribly scared. The fear is so bad in the mornings.
I am on Celexa and Nortriptyline for depression. I have Klonopin for anxiety but I'm reluctant to take it regularly for fear of dependence and because I started going to Narcotics Anonymous a couple of months ago to get help dealing with my monthly abuse of pain pills and they tell me not to take the Klonopin. I threw away my Klonopin six weeks ago then had a panic/anxiety breakdown and had to get a new prescription and now I don't think my pdoc trusts me. I think he thinks I took it all and just wanted some more. I told him I didn't want to take Klonopin anymore -was there anything else nonaddictive to take for severe anxiety. So he gave me Inderal.
Then I found out it can cause depression. It blocks norepinephrine receptors. I just started the nortriptyline to increase norepinephrine. So I got scared it would interfere with the nortriptyline. I took the inderal anyway because I was so desperate for some help. It helped yesterday but today it didn't hlep. I freaked out when it didn't work today and drove to his office because he will not take phone calls.
When I got there I started crying and couldn't stop. I hid in the bathroom and cried til someone came to get me. They told my doctor I was there but he couldn't see me because he was doing paperwork and was about to leave. He told someone to tell me the inderal took a while to work =I hadn't been takin git long enough. And I could have the next available appointment May 24.
So I came home and took an inderal adn half a klonopin and now I am sitting here writing this and crying again and feeling hopeless. No one can help me I have tried everything nothing works.
And I even wonder if I am doing this to myself, causing my own fear by thinking about it too much. I have asked for help from God but I am still scared and depressed -the fear, the horrible crippling anxiety has been with me for seven months now.I don't see anything left to do.
poster:4WD
thread:496564
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050510/msgs/496564.html