Posted by Spriggy on April 8, 2005, at 22:10:31
Today has been one of the worst days of cycling I've had since January. I have had FOUR (count it.. one, two, three, FOUR) weeping and wailing spells ( I was waiting for the gnashing of teeth stuff they did in the bible!).
I have been SUPER irritable- I am getting on MY OWN NERVES. I am SOO agitated, restless, anxious.
I haven't been this bad is sooo long. I found an old Xanex and took it. It made me a little bit tired but did nothing. I took my Klonopin- did nothing. I took a Restoril (still waiting for that to kick in).
My husband has prayed over me all day- nothing is helping. Quite honestly, suicidal thoughts have come back (which is scarey because that only happened on Lexapro!), I have had this horrible "lump in the throat", tightness of the chest feeling ALL day.
I started my cycle today- I don't know if that is the reason for all this or what but I am cycling in between agitation-depression-self condemnation-anxiety-and back around again.
I want off this spinning wheel FAST.
This is not my typical personality. I was once a rational, normal, sane person.
I lost my marbles people- they can't be found.
I am starting to feel that feeling of " this will never really get better" and although I know logically and spiritually that is a lie, I can't seem to get it out of my head.
My thoughts are racing.. I am a nutcase, a mess, a PMS maniac lunatic right now.
My blood sugar is 220 for some unknown reason considering I am supposed to be HYPOGLYCEMIC.
I even saw weird numbers with my eyes open.
Anxiety does the strangest things to people- it convinces me I am going to suffocate and die.
This is by far the worst day I've had in a long while. Please pray for me. Even if you don't believe God, pray for me.
Thanks.
poster:Spriggy
thread:481854
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050408/msgs/481854.html