Posted by Quincy on March 14, 2005, at 3:15:30
In reply to Re: Cyclothymia mood stabilizers, posted by Quincy on March 13, 2005, at 21:29:51
ok, i dont think i did too good of a job explaining my UP's. so i'll try again.
its not just being extra happy, but thats what i mostly feel. Like i get extra energy too. I feel like running around in circles because i'm happy, i guess, well, i look at puppy-dogs who like to run around chasing their tails, and i sort of feel like that. haha. I um, well, right now i cant sleep, but not because my mind is racing with thoughts about everything thats wrong in my life but because i'm excited about something, i guess it feels like the night before my birthday or christmas when theres so much to look forwards to the next day that going to bed just seems like the wrong thing to do. And right now i have an art project, well, several projects, theyre presents for my friends who are gruaduting this spring, and i really want to get up and work on them, but i know that if i dont sleep I probably will be tired tomorrow and i have class that i need to be awake for.
but now i'll go back to the word i used in my last post, happy... Its not just happy or content, its that plus something. There are definate times when I am "hyper" when I notice and everyone else notices that i have extra energy. But because i talk a lot and am really friendly to people anyway, sometimes being "hyper" doesnt feel wrong for lack of a better term. I simply feel extra-happy emotionally... Elated if you will.
And I havent ever really... well, noticing my downs was what made me think that something may be unstable. my ups feel less like somethign that i have to worry about because they feel so good. So, noticing the ups is harder, But I sort of think that I'm in one right now, because I feel extra happy, extra energy, i cant sleep because i'm simply awake, and i want to run around in circles and laugh. not like crazy laugh, but because i'm so happy. happy is the wrong word. its more like right now i feel like i'm a bubble floating up, i'm in no danger of bursting because i just am. i'm round and airy and colourful and floating and smiling because i'm so free and i am me. i feel light. and calm on the inside even though i have extra energy. i dont know, maybe i'm just not describing it the way i want to. but its just open.
poster:Quincy
thread:9730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050312/msgs/470777.html