Posted by MM on February 11, 2005, at 0:29:50
In reply to Re: Anyone feel better after getting off med-go-ro, posted by calamityjane on February 8, 2005, at 17:27:38
Sedona, your story sounds a lot like mine. I was depressed because bad things happened in my life so I was SUPPOSED to feel that way (imagine that?), but at the time it just seemed like the right thing to do...to take me to a psychiatrist (I was 14-15). I didn't know what psychiatrists were about. I thought they were the head honchos or something when it came to mental illness/depression and they would really know what they were doing since they had so much training and education and they would really help me. Anyway....I tried SSRI's and effexor etc., in combination and alone, and all they did was make me agitated and that's when the "suicidal ideation" kicked in. They gave me this enormously strong feeling of wanting to end it...almost a compulsion, like I had to...it was all I could think about a lot of the time. Went to another psychiatrist; am now dx'd bipolar instead of depression and anxiety so I've been on all kinds of meds and still feel like I would have been better off having never tried ANY of them, except maybe Klonopin, which ironically is what I asked if I could try when I first went to the doctor with these problems. I'm scared to go off the meds because being numb and apathetic is better than feeling like I want to end it all the time. I too have gained weight and I know my metabolism is changed, as well as my brain chemistry and that doesn't help depression. I am bitter about all of it and I feel helpless to do anything because I don't have the money to go to the best doctors and pay them to care....anyway...umm, I guess I'm just telling you that I feel the same way. I really wish and hope to get off the meds. Hopefully you find what works for you, meds or no meds. Good luck.
MM
(sorry it's so long)
poster:MM
thread:453522
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050207/msgs/456135.html