Posted by banga on February 4, 2005, at 13:25:18
In reply to Re: Adderall and ADHD vs nonADHD » banga, posted by ed_uk on February 4, 2005, at 12:55:42
I at least from this first experience don't feel the slightest inclination to abuse he Adderall. I luckily am just now one year sober and feel very solid (of course always looking over my shoulder to mae sure the old habit isn't stalking me). It's interesting you should ask why I need formal testing, diagnosis.
My history is so crazed, I could label myself with at LEAST 5 diagnoses concurrently...if someone independently confirmed this diagnosis. I would feel validated and maybe would be less inclined to be so mean to myself in my head. And yes a neurotic need to show family members "see THIS is why I was like that." --and have a pdoc's signature to prove it, as my word alone means nothing. To others and to me. Depression alone, or even in combo with alcoholism, still doesn't come close to explaining the craziness in my life. A lot of damaged relationships in these last years.
I dont want to be labeled as "cheating" by taking a stimulant.
And a final thought --it would be nice to have a silver lining to these past five years of total hell and breakdown, that at least as a result I was forced to take the time and find out what REALLY was wrong, "correct it and live happily ever after." HOw's that for a polyanna dream?But you of course are right, I need to simply accept that--something is working, depression and anxiety are lifting, that is what counts.
LOL think of all the posts I wrote to others to not stress about precise diagnoses and look at me! LOL! Thanks for the moment of insight!
poster:banga
thread:452993
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050202/msgs/453187.html