Posted by jujube on December 26, 2004, at 10:22:51
In reply to Re: Can your brain learn its way around an antidepress, posted by linkadge on December 25, 2004, at 19:00:30
I don't tell people what I am going through. I even have a hard time talking about it with my family. My mom has pretty much been despressed since I was a kid, but she has always refused to go on any medication, except for the tranquilizers she took when we were kids and she was struggling to cope with my dad's violent outbursts. When I have tried recently to talk to her about what I am going through, she turns the conversation around to how much she has been through, and how she just keeps going. But, I don't want half a life. I want to wake up and feel there is something to look forward to. I want to wake up and not be afraid of people, places and things. When I tell my parents that I am on an antidepressant, they both say I don't need it and I should just stop taking it because it is going to make me sick. For two people who can't stand each other and have been separated for almost 20 years, it's surprising they seem to agree on something. They don't get it. They don't get that being depressed and severely anxious is making me sicker than any AD ever could. They see what I want them to see, just like everybody else. But they are not inside my head listening to my, at times, dark thoughts. Even my friends don't get it. They don't understand my need to isolate at times, and my sometimes irrational fears. So, I just don't bother trying to share my feelings with people anymore. What they don't know can't hurt me. It's easier that way.
I'll shut up now.
Tamara
> I understand what you are talking about.
>
> When I tell people I have a psychiatric illness, they respond with something dumb like.
>
> "when I'm down I find going for a walk in the fresh air always boosts my spirits"
>
> If only it was about "three neurotransmitters" we would have no problem.
>
> Linkadge
>
poster:jujube
thread:432111
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041223/msgs/434250.html