Posted by linkadge on December 3, 2004, at 13:57:34
In reply to Re: To the point where I don't mention suicidiality » Larry Hoover, posted by ed_uk on December 3, 2004, at 12:08:28
They've labled me as bipolar and in this case, asking for a specific medication is never taken seriously in bipolar disorder.
Doctors always think bipolar individuals are up to something.
I tried counselling, but it just goes in circles. They ask whats wrong, I say I don't know.
They ask why you want to kill yourself, I say why would I not want to kill myself?
They ask if anthing has been on your mind recently, I say I don't know.
They ask why you can't concentrate, I say I don't know.
They ask if you look forward to anything,
I say yes, the day I die.They ask if I have any friends, I say no.
I just get irritated when people are around me, so I go to my room.They ask if there is any trouble at home, I say no.
They ask if I have any hobbies or anything I enjoy, I say no.
Then they get really, inventive. If they can't try and will me into living, they start making me feel guilty about wanting out. They say
"have you ever thought of the people you'd be hurting if you left this earth?"Thats just about when I've had enough. When they start making me feel guilty for being in the state I am in.
The only thing that works is sleep deprivation. When I don't sleep one night, I can actually say to myself "I want to live" But we all know that I can't go on like that forever.
Linkadge
poster:linkadge
thread:423881
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041201/msgs/423972.html