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Re: Long standing depression - question » phillipa

Posted by DustBuster on November 9, 2004, at 19:24:40

In reply to Re: Long standing depression - question, posted by phillipa on November 9, 2004, at 15:25:36

> How do you know you are depressed all of a sudden?

Well, it didn't happen "all of a sudden". I've known for a long time that something was wrong with me, but always just assumed it was my own fault. Which, of course, just fueled my depression even more. Other symptoms are my lack of ability to make and keep friends, suicidal thoughts, feelings of worthlessness, lack of interest in hobbies, family, or really anything other than my job.

Several times over the past year or two, I've heard radio and tv commercials listing symptoms of depression, and advertising some clinic or other. I recognized myself in their descriptions, but kept putting off really doing anything about it.

Last year, when my employer forced me to relocate, my depression got much worse, my job performance really suffered, and I was fired this summer (for incompetence, which is funny, because I used to considered the network guru).

I spent the next four months not doing anything (other than eating, sleeping, watching tv, and browsing the net), and finally found myself looking into the topic of depression. I found a couple of web sites, but they didn't provide much useful information.

I went to a book store, and found a good book, Undoing Depression, by Richard O'Connor. After reading the first few chapters, I was convinced I suffer from severe depression, and that I would need professional help to get over it.

I was terrified to talk to anyone else about it, so I literally chose a psychiatrist out of the yellow pages. One of the scariest things I've ever done was walk into his office, and ask for an appointment. He asked a lot of questions, told me I definately suffer from major depression, handed me 3 weeks worth of Effexor XR samples, and told me to make an appointment with any one of the therapists he works with.

The T recommended a couple of other books, Feeling Good, by Burns, and Learned Optimism, by Seligman. I'm reading Feeling Good now, and meeting with the T once a week.

I have found it difficult to get started in therapy. It's really hard to break old habits, and it's really easy to find reasons to quit treatment. But I'm committed to keep trying.

Patrick


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