Posted by Jimmy Neal on October 14, 2004, at 14:55:57
In reply to Re: To Everyone (And those trading SSRI for Welbutrin), posted by L McLean on September 23, 2004, at 17:13:09
I am about to try Welbutrin.
I am almost 57 years old and have suffered from seasonal affective disorder for most of my life. About 7 years ago my wife of 16 years was informed that she had cancer. She lived for 4 more years with chemo-therapy. She died about 3 years ago.
One year after she was diagnosed with cancer, I was diagnosed with clinical depression, which has only gotten worse. I've been through Zoloft, Celexa, and Paxil. What has helped the most is Seroquel. I take one at night and get a really good night's sleep. It only helps, so, I am about to start on Welbutrin and hope for the best.
One of the answers to this post seemed to suggest that we should live with the depression and accept it. NO, NO, NO!!!! I tried that and ended up laying on the couch for about 4 months, not eating and loosing about 40 pounds in the last 2 months, waiting to die.
Once I accepted the depression as normal all of the feelings that come with it were normal, including the desire to die. While I still couldn't actively kill myself, I could just lay there and waste away; until a friend had had enough and forced me to get up.
I can't say why, but through all of this wasting away I was still taking my Paxil every day. After my friend had "bugged" me for some time, I got up one day and decided to start fresh. I quit taking every medication, including Paxil. Within a few days I felt much better and even had a few laughs. Two weeks later I was working again and feeling close to normal.
Four months of work and no medication, I quit. I just couldn't get through the day, again. The depression had creeped back into my life. Now I just sit and try to get motivated. Ocassionally, I get up and get started on something, but in a little while I'm back in the chair. I just returned from seeing my psychiatrist who prescribed Welbutrin in response to my question "is there anything I can take to give me some motivation?" I use the VA for my healthcare and will not get the prescription for a week, but I am hoping for some relief.
I also have a psychology degree and understand that being depressed ocassionally IS normal. Being depressed for some time after a traumatic experience IS normal. Being depressed for 7 years IS NOT normal! Being depressed for more than a few days for no aparant reason IS NOT normal. Depression to the point of ruining your life IS NOT normal.
Accepting depression as normal and part of our cultural diversity can lead only to more and deeper depression. This IS NOT part of a normal life! Fight for your sanity! One thing I have noticed is: if I get angry about my state of mind, I feel better. Anger is not a great state of mind, but a damned site better than wanting to die.
Jimmy
poster:Jimmy Neal
thread:393562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041012/msgs/403030.html