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Re: new to psychobabble

Posted by Daniel Woodfield on October 11, 2004, at 7:27:37

In reply to Re: new to psychobabble, posted by ed_uk on October 10, 2004, at 13:00:25

Hey Ed,

I am waiting on my student loan before i can get any credit on my phone, one of the symptoms (if you like) of my problems is that i have absolutely no desire, nor capacity, to work. I have tried to get data entry jobs many times but no-one will be flexible with me regarding my uni hours and i really don't have the energy or physical wellness to stand up for eight hours serving beers to impateint people like so many students seem to. I would much rather play on my ps2 or watch the TV than bother with the social anxiety so.....

Anyway, my point being i have no credit to text you as of yet. The loan company has done this silly BACS thing this year also where you don't get a cheque anymore they just pay it into your bank when you are enrolled on your course, and as i didn't enrol until last friday i don't anticipate getting the money for at least another week, i will text then.

I thought i was making a breakthrough with the librium yesterday, felt a bit clamer, so i went into uni today (its one of my days off) to get some of my dissertation prep done, lasted thre hours before starting to feel uncomfortable with the amount of people in the room before leaving. (God i feel so pathetic. I'd give my little pinky to have a week when i didn't go through that rubbish).

Then i proceeded to do a very odd thing. I don't seem to have any anxieties or feel uinwell when i am one on one with someone who seems to be in authority. for example when i go to the doctors i talk four ages, getting quite animated and hyper actually, before he tells me i have to leave. Similarly if i go to a choropodist or something similar (homeopath etc), i can't stop talking and for about an hour after leaving i feel quite liberated. (What the hell is all that about.) Anyway, so i went around university trying to arrange as many appointments as i possible could where i know i will be in a similar situation. I have two one hour sessions booked for tomorrow, one with a counsellor on campus, and one with a career advisor. I also have an hour session booked in with my personal tutuor. I have absolutely no idea what im going to say to these people when i meet with them at all. I dont even know why i made the appointments. Probably for the hour of liberation following them after i have spoken at someone for an hour each time. God im starting to really worry about myself.

Im sick of being at home alone, feel the need to be around people, involved in the world, then when i get there i feel totally uneasy to the point of feeling physically unwell. Im so sick of it.

Bah im rambling again, i do that a lot.

Cheers for listening, Dan.

(Sod it im gonna go check to see if my loan has gone through, it won't have but im bored.)


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:Daniel Woodfield thread:400810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041007/msgs/401472.html