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Re: I don't know if it will work

Posted by headachequeen on October 8, 2004, at 14:18:53

In reply to Re: I don't know if it will work » iris2, posted by stressed on October 8, 2004, at 14:02:20

> Thanks so much for resonding to my post so quickly. You are so right. The binging must be under control first, and I am concerned that her doc. won't prescribe her anything higher than 100mg. I don't know if the binging has slowed down. I have noticed that she seems to get irritated much easier these days. I hope that goes away......!!! You are such a doll for sending me the links. Thanks a million. -L

100 mg is not a high dose actually as long as the time to between increments is slow and steady...
the binging will not come under control at once...
heaven knows, I have the occasional relapse and don't know why... just know that it happens...

there are other issues that have to be dealt with to help her control the binging if it is done to help her escape those issues...
I know what my issues are and I have had help and more help (some of it even useful ) but I still have times when the issues take over...
at the moment I am in flashback mode... something and I do not know what, has triggered a return of memory that is in control... I know and understand the theory of it all... but I have to overcome it all...
I have to deal with the flashback, the memories, and the effects they have on me, the way these things take over and change my life and my feelings about life, about me, about the people around me, about my work... you name it...
I withdraw from the world and from the people who care most for me and even with the therapy and the topomax I have times of binging... why not eat? no one cares anyway and no one loves me...
if anyone loved me would they have let these things happen to me???
Oh I understand the rationale behind the flashback and the binging ALL too well...
so why am unable to simply give it all the boot...
that is the part that really upsets me...
and I am really able to disguise it with other people...
didn't I say this place was therapeutic????
you are the only people to whom I would admit the binging regression or that I binge at all...
when I mention eating disorders I refer only to the anorexia of my teens and early twenties...
of course it is in my past and I have it under control... remember I am a control freak..
and I let the world know it...
nothing is allowed to upset my world as far as the world knows...
I can even hide it from my psychologist a great deal of the time...
he keeps telling me that he is kicking me loose because I don't need him any longer... and often at times when things are blowing apart in my life...
your daughter needs to know that she is loved...
that you care for her as she is and who she is...
not what she is...
no matter what she does or does not achiever...
no matter how well she does anything...
no matter who does it better or worse...
you lover her..
after all, you gave birth to her, not the other cheerleader or the girl with the better mark or the better role in the school play or the one who did anything she did or should do... or didn't get to do...
nothing else matters but that you love her...
and will always love her...

as for the rest, let her know that you want to help her when she wants your help or support...
let her know that you don't want to and will not nag about her weight or eating...
maybe she would like to help with the grocery and menu planning and shopping... what would she like to see in the fridge and cupboards to help her manage her plan...
there has to be a way to involve her loving and supportive mom in this so that she knows you don't care if she loses weight but you don't want to sabotage her either...
and if there is a problem at the root of it, then you would like to help eliminate the problem...

and that you love her more than anything ...

love is a powerful thing... it can do so much and it can cripple if it becomes pity... but we have to use it for our children...

As for Topomax, it will not really start to take effect (control if you will<g>) until she is on morning and evening matched doses based on my experience...
minor weight loss which cheered me on
but the controls set in when I was on 200 in the evening then started the morning dosage too...
checked my seizure book today...
have to do the Readers' Digest version for the new neuro so when I found the notations about that I filed it mentally for you...

Happy thanksgiving everyone
kat


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poster:headachequeen thread:5053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041007/msgs/400458.html