Posted by pmz on October 8, 2004, at 1:37:15
In reply to Re: Question for anyone » Jubilee, posted by corafree on October 6, 2004, at 14:48:56
I can certainly empathise with any of you who have battled depression for many years. It wasn't until the last few years that I have even been medicated for it by a theraputic medication.
I started on Elavil for migraines that were recurring 2-3 times a week following a very traumatic divorce. I only took it for 2 years. Later on (after 40)I started having many stressors from work, family (teenagers), and me being my own worst emotional enemy. I started taking the Elavil again. The depression grew and got worse. I was then started on Effexor xr. It has been a Godsend for me. The only problem was that when a new stressor came along, we had to up the dose. I became disabled with a immunological syndrome and was paralized from the waist down for months and gradually began getting my strength back. Less than a year later I had a pneumonia severe enough that I was intubated for 9 days and on home oxygen for months. I am still disabled, but much more functional physically and emotionally. Shortly after that was 9/11. I am a mother of two boys who were in the military at that time. I cannot begin to tell you the mood swings and uncontrolled crying that came after that. The list goes on. On 9/11 my doc. added Xanax to my medications due to the uncontrolled crying. I was able to reduce it to just at bedtime. About 3 months ago we also added Ambien at bedtime because of sleeplessness which has been one of the biggest problems I have had with anxiety and depression.
Just recently due to my husbands prefrences (which I supported), we packed up and moved to his home town to be close to his parents as they age. It was a traumatic move for me because I had never been more than a couple of hours away from my mother, sons, and grandson. Due to breaks in insurance coverage, I was without my Effexor XR for a couple of weeks. First I cut my dose of 300 mg.(150 mg 2/day) in half. Then I became completely without. I began the uncontrolled crying. The slightest thing would set me off. My husband (who is a dear)and I talked about it together, and we knew that withdrawal from the medication was probably the greatest factor. After a few days the uncontrolled crying came into control again. I was able to find a web site that I could order the Effexor xr at a price I could afford. Do not mistake this for a promotion of this. I did my research to find out if this was legal, and if this company was reputable. It did require a prescription for the medication to be able to get it.(Without insurance a 30 day supply would have been $250, and I am on several medications which made this cost-prohibitive).
My biggest question is whether I should take it again at the full dose or not. I had decided to take it at half the dose I had been taking it. I also wondered if I actually needed it at all anymore. I had a history of going through the "You don't love me anymore, I am fat and ugly and you think I am disgusting" crying fits. I knew for my husband's sake and my own, I didn't want to do that again.
I worked as a nurse for years before I became disabled and know the effects of sudden discontinuation of psych. meds and felt that I had already gotten through that. Some of the symptoms you all have described seem so much more severe than any I had when my supply of Effexor xr had run out. I had never been diagnosed with "bipolar disorder", or "manic depressive disorder". I knew the symptoms of each and knew that I had many of them. I never went to a Psychiatrist.I had worked thorough all this with my internal medicine specialist doc. I did know that I had to have a doc. who would listen to me. I mean really listen to me and what I was going through, and work with me to find an effective treatment. I honestly think I have written all of this to encourage all of you to make sure your doc. listens to you. Make them understand your feelings, and work together to find a theraputic treatment. Never be afraid to tell your doc. anything, no matter how insignifigant it might seem. If your doc does not listen to you, and makes his own assumptions of how you are feeling, then find another doc. All those things are important. Also remember, your illness is not your fault. You have a biological chemical imbalance that makes your emotions run awry on you, and it does take intervention. It does not mean you are weak, or defective. You are not. I hope each one of you will take the drop of information you might have found in this note to heart, and know that you are not alone. There are as many assisted individuals out there as there are not. Some may choose a different kind of drug, whether it be alcohol, nicotine, or something as simple as sugar. I do want to caution those of you that might want to look into herbal alternatives to be careful about any interactions those herbs might have with your other medications. Do your homework. Good luck!
poster:pmz
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041007/msgs/400254.html