Posted by vikala on October 5, 2004, at 17:04:05
I have tried well over 50 different medications over the last 10 years. Some twice - various combos and dosages and all in all I must say - NO REAL RELIEF. I have been in psychotherapy and psychoanalysis for nearly 4 years now. I am depressed, pure and simple. This is my major issue. Currently I take 60 mg of Cymbalta (week 3 on this dose) and I feel dead. No energy, no excitement, no desire, no will to live. I am not sad per se, but I am flat and lifeless.
I dabbled in "street drugs" mostly marijuana and cocaine. I don't have an addiction to either one. I use cocaine monthly if that and at one time I didn't smoke marijuana for 6 years. Both have their advantages.
I've used Xanax, Klonopin, Valium, Codeine, Ultram, Ritalin, Provigal and other abuse prone drugs. I have Klonopins that are 6 months old = I've kept a bottle of Xanax for a year before. I've had times where I've gotten so anxious I needed Xanax to sleep nightly. I've never abused or been addicted to these meds.
I come across pain killers from time to time. The two I favor are Percocet and Vicodin. Percocet especially. I take a few and I feel better. I can clean my house, relax, socialize, get things done = I FEEL BETTER. After losing the ability of feeling JOY or HAPPINESS - I found something I do enjoy immensely - painkillers. I can function. I can plan, make goals, and dream. I am happy.
I am searching for an answer, as all of you are. I think I may have found it. I don’t feel this is a “drug abuse/addiction” issue. I believe that whatever these drugs do to my mind, whatever chemicals they induce or balance or create – they are what I lack normally. Does anyone know the chemistry involved with these medications? Are there any non-controlled meds on the market that target these chemicals or reactions as well? Do you think that I just found my ‘drug of choice’ and this is where and how addiction begins?
What about Buprinex (I think that’s the name of it) I believe it used for drug addicts and helps them quit heroin usually. (It’s an alternative to methadone) Is it similar to painkillers chemically? Do docs prescribe it for severe depression?
I truly appreciate any comments or knowledge you can offer me. I plan to discuss this with my psychiatrist next month when I see him.
Thank you.Vikala
gina79@gmail.com
poster:vikala
thread:399298
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041002/msgs/399298.html