Posted by adam canada on July 21, 2004, at 23:13:05
hi. i have been dealing with some of the most extreme major depression and anxiety there is. I have been on well over a dozen medications and after 3 years things have been going so much better! it has taken 10mg of paxil to prevent me from living in constant agony to just occasional pain and lack of motivation. but i have had access to dexedrine again from a friend with ADD. i am so greatful as this has been the only thing to help me long term. I feel normal. I feel like I did so many years ago before anything happened to me (accutane).
At least I feel the most normal I ever have in these years. I feel like I want to go out and do things! meet people. see the sights... see everything there is to see. I am able to be motivated towards things. My social anxiety is lessened. I dont have fears of talking to people. I am no longer non social. I can hold up conversations and laugh about anything! sometimes i feel F------ AMAZING. it is so good to be alive. It just would be nice to not be living in such a boring small town where nothing happens and meeting ppl is not so realistic.
so i plan to perhaps go to college. with my severe mental issues I thought it could never be possible. I would just focus on living and trying to stay content. no longer do i need to hope for the best... because I am able to often feel FINE!!!
BUT... my only concern is... i cannot do any of this without the dexedrine. i have not been able to get a doctor to prescribe it to me. and i dont know if my friend will be able to continually provide it. i will need to ask him and be sure to never tick him off as my whole future would be in the hands of this medication.
i am living in toronto ontario. well close to toronto at least. does anyone know any good doctors who are willing to try what works? i have been extremely treatment resistent. i tried everything from zoloft, zyprexa, lithium, vivarint, reboxetine, wellbutrin, celexa, buspar, to even shock therapy! which has done terrible work of my memory.
What could I say to a doctor to prescribe it to me? I have met some real jerk doctors in my time. I just know that i feel fine on dexedrine. I am able to enjoy my life and not live in mental pain. why cant these doctors just understand???
any input on my situation would be apreciated. thanks for reading. i cant believe i actually want to continue school. i am amazed.
poster:adam canada
thread:368809
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040719/msgs/368809.html